26 Sep 08
I tell her she’s beautiful. Over and over again. As often as I can.
But she shakes her head, and says I only think so because I love her.
It’s true. But would I love her any less if she didn’t have those soft, innocent eyes? If she didn’t wear her hair up, or down, or curly, or straight, or different every time I saw her? If her body didn’t curve so distractingly when she lets herself fall into me?
It makes me wonder if anyone sees the same thing that I do.
How much of it is her beauty, and how much of it is the beauty I see in her?
To me, her beauty is obvious, not subtle in any way.
So I tell her, over and over again.
Sometimes I think she’ll start to believe me if I say it enough.
Women worth having rarely seem to think they are attractive, even when they are. It’’s one of their most endearing — and maddening – traits. Perversely, when they do believe compliments, women seem to pay more attention to those from strangers than to those made by their lovers.
Good thing men don’t have any quirks!
Let alone the photos transport the message. They are beautiful. Not because of the craftmanship you can see in creating these photos. No its her atmosphere, her invisible mix of unsecurity and strength and the love for her of the photographer. Tell her how beautiful she is, but not every day or hour but in the right moment, at the right time. Its more worth then to tell it every day.
There’s an air of magnanimity to her mouth and jaw line, yet she’s the unintimadating girl next door with a well-balanced physique. She projects that subtle self-confidence that tells you she’s conscious of all that. She’s beautiful alright…perhaps even dangerously beautiful.
@Michael — You hit the nail on the head. I think comments from strangers are taken more seriously because they don’t have the bias of love, which is what makes our opinions less important since they’re less subjective. The way I see it, it’s a somewhat backwards approach to the entire situation.
@Joern — I suppose there’s something to be said about not overusing the word so that it means more on the rare occasions that it’s said. Unfortunately, it’s all I can think of when I’m with her. And coming from someone like me, stifling self-expression is very difficult.
@Uncle Joe — “Dangerous” is the perfect word, in the operatic Carmen sense. I always like it when you give your views on a photograph. It lets me see them in a different way, which I rarely get a chance to do.
I’m always amazed that even beautiful starlets don’t like themselves enough. I recently saw an expose e-mail of women who are famous movie or TV stars, all photographed in their cars or on the street, with no makeup or fancy gear., hair frizzy and unstraightened, & whatnot. They all looked quite average. Wish more women could see that e-mail.
The truth is, even the most beautiful ones are just people, and if they don’t know that they’re fools. And the truth for the rest of us is, youth alone makes 90% of us gorgeous and we never, ever know it.
I sat waiting for a theater performance to begin once and a lot of the audience was in their late teens. I was overwhelmed by how goodlooking ALL of them seemed. Because they had that unmistakable freshness, happiness, chaotic unspoiled verve, untamed by suits and worries and responsibilities. I could not get over how even the less “good-looking” ones were glowing and seemed to have the world by the tail. They just seemed to have joy in them.
And then I remembered some of my good friends I find attractive, and that’s a lot of their attraction too. They’ve retained their joy. If only young women knew this and stopped worrying about straightening their hair, or dieting, or thinking how poofy their lips are or aren’t. They would realize they’re really really stars.
p.s., do keep telling her.
I find that it’s their insecurities that drives these beautiful people to be beautiful. If they were complacent, they wouldn’t care so much about looking good all the time. I’m sure that even the statue of David, if able to move, would have unflattering poses. There’s an important balance between insecurity and complacency that’s difficult to find.
Age certainly has a hand in making us beautiful, although more for women than men, I’d say.
Style has a way of making up for beauty as well, and I find that younger people use it to their advantage, even if they’re not aware of doing so. Theatre is also a visual medium though, and like modeling and film, there seems to be a “type” of (beautiful) people who are involved or related to a production.
Perhaps the biggest projection of beauty, as you touched on, is mentality, or as told to men, is “confidence”.
this post reminds me of that Elvis Costello song, The Element Within Her.
Really, you have to hear it….beautiful song.
t’s the element within her
Something under her skin
That is shining out through the face of the girl
Two sapphires and couple of rows of pearls
It’s just a part of it
Like your fine tresses
You know what my guess is
La la la la la la la la la la la
He was a PLAYBOY
Could charm the birds right out of the trees
Now he says ‘What do I do with these?’
La la la la la la la la la la la
This love in my heart
Let no-one set asunder
Sometimes I wonder
La la la la la la la la la la la
But back in the bedroom
With her electric heater
I say, ” are you cold?”
She says, “No, but you are…’ la la la la la
la la la la
it’s the element within her….
lalala
I’m keeping my ear out for this song, since I can’t seem to find it on YouTube. I like the fact that he doesn’t actually mention her eyes and her teeth, but refers to them as jewelery.