After going through therapy, I’ve started to recognize complexes and issues in other people.
Some put their hope in someone, then hurt them. Some only fall in love with people they can’t have, and as soon as interest is reciprocated, they lose the attraction. Strong signs of emotional deprivation, stemming from traumatic relationships. (Unfortunately, I’ve been the cause on more than one occasion, and it was my own issues that lead to this destructive behaviour where I didn’t treat a heart as delicately as I should have.)
Most people aren’t aware of their issues, but I’m always baffled by the ones who are aware and still don’t do anything about it. They repeatedly make the same mistakes over and over again.
I’ve always believed that self-improvement is the highest form of living, and I’ve been able to work through my own baggage, so I refuse to accept those who don’t work through their own.
The thing that really starts to scare you is when you start to read people before you actually get to know them as a person. Their mannerisms, actions reflecting upon subconscious traits that make them the people you eventually know.
The awful thing is that you know you can’t say anything to them because they will either deny that’s why they are or treat you as a crazy thing.
I get what you mean though. I’ve gone through a lot to become the person that I am. I refuse to believe that people can’t go beyond what they think are their limits to achieve what they want as well. At the very least try.
I don’t think I’ve quite reached that level of understanding yet, but I can definitely imagine how it can be scary. Of course, there are always those one-dimensional people one may meet, who within the first five minutes of talking to them you know exactly who they are.
There are some people to whom I’ve become close and I’ve only been able to “diagnose” their issues after therapy, and yes, it’s extremely frustrating to not be able to tell them because they don’t recognize their problems. Even recognizing complexes in movie characters is frustrating, cause you want to help them but realize it’s only fiction!
I think it’s an effort to change and improve that’s most significant. We’ve tried so hard to get to where we are now. I have no sympathy for people who don’t even try (yet are aware of their problems). Just getting angry at those who hurt us is both fruitless and idiotic.
um, to state the less obvious perhaps, it wouldn’t be an “issue” if it went away instantly with or without recognition. if a person “doing something”…or not or enough…bit hard to say what process is going on behind the scenes of the brain.
Harsh…but I understand exactly where you are coming from. They will sap the life right out of you.
@Pearl — You’re right, it’s difficult to tell how much awareness someone has. Definitely a judgment call, as in many other things in life.
@Lucy — I don’t see it as harsh, I see it as fair. I only hold others to the same standards to which I hold myself. Anything more would be hypocritical.