My room is a mess, a side-effect of my busy schedule. I should be cleaning. Hell, I should be sleeping, but I’d rather write instead, seeing as how I haven’t had a chance in four days. It would appear as if I’m going through some sort of expression withdrawal.
Vincent Gallo practically wrote this entry for me.
I had When by Vincent Gallo playing here.
(If you’re going to listen to this song, turn the lights down, or at least close your eyes. Remove yourself of any ambient noise. Breathe slowly for 30 seconds before playing it. This song deserves it. You deserve it.)
Even though it went up to 28°C today, the morning started cold and calm. There was so much moisture in the air that one could taste the grey.
It made me strangely stoic when I left the house. Something about the whether that reminded me of how comforting it can be to feel sad. It’s as if the earth had decided to compliment my mood with cloud cover. I can’t even explain the cause of my sadness, and can only guess that realization and acceptance are setting in. The only saving grace is that I feel confident enough to pick myself up and move on. Not that I want to do it alone right now. Wish I had the option.
As the day dragged on, things started to wear me down. Exhaustion dried my eyes. I kept trying to pick myself up, kept trying to hide my sighing sadness from those around me, to no avail.
Wish I had a smile in my wardrobe for days like this.
Sadness can appear unexpectedly from the nothing, and sooner or later it disappears in the way you didn’t realize:)
“How can I live through/experience certain things of the life strongly depens on my approach/attitude, in bad times I should not expect myself to be happy or in good mood, but I have to follow achieving my goals, doing my work and all these doing in an active way!“
I heard this from somewhere and it is always in my mind in certain cases…now. Maybe my message isn’t clear as my English is not native.…but briefly wearing an “artifical” smile (which origin is not you) is not the best solution, just go ahead and soon there will be only few clouds both in the sky and in your mind :-)
You’re right…it only took a few hours in the right company for things to brighten up. Perhaps it’s like love; something that happens when you least expect it. And until it does, you might as well embrace the moments in between because they prove to be over soon enough.
Yes, love is similar. Love comes and goes like a chameleon:)
If you want you can enjoy every moment of the life, even sad moments or love-moments or sad love-moments?!? You can also live in a dream world with untrue love-moments. For me it is always comfortable and enjoyable but in the same time painful and makes me confused. I have to wake up myself from the dreams otherwise I am not able to find or follow the path of my life. I experience it these days…