To Speak, To Dream // equivocality

Another night with no time to write. 4 hrs ago

29 Jun 08

Posted in: Daily Life, Photo/Misc | Tags: loneliness, night

It’s on nights like this that I feel especially lonely.

I spent the last two hours looking for an image that would express my mood, but this was the best I could come up with. When I went outside, to see if the street lights would offer me more, I passed by open windows, each one filled with a different coloured light. It made me wonder what the people were doing, who they were with, what mood they were in.

It’s been a day alone. A day without contact. A day of rain and greyness, and living vicariously at Robson Arms.

So here I sit in the dark, with my apple and honey swirl pie and Ovaltine, writing because I haven’t said enough today, listing to songs of love and hate. Feeling like an old soul.

Wondering tonight if I’ll dream, or sleep soundly, or dream without remembering.

5 comments — Follow the feed

#1 Causalien

How about this one?

http://www.ultracrepidate.com/pics/light.JPG

I haven’t figured out how to use it yet.

#2 Jeff

It’s too dark for my tastes (although the gamma on our monitors is probably very different). I wanted an image that wasn’t only about light, but about surroundings too, which is why I used a manual flash to slightly expose the background.

I also prefer most my images to have very small depth-of-field because bokeh pleases me, and it looks like everything is in focus in yours.

#3 Causalien

Yeah, I figured I can photoshop the out of focus feel. It’s making me lazy when I take the pictures.

#4 Zaira

how can you feel lonely when you’re in love?

Especially when you’re falling in love…what I wouldn’t give to feel that heady feeling.

Unless you feel it the other way, which is painful and aching and …ok, nevermind.

#5 Jeff

@Causalien — I’ve tried to do that, but the background is never an even amount of out-of-focusness unless every object is the exact same distance from the camera. I find that to simulate a really nice out-of-focus feel takes longer than setting up the shot in the first place, so I just do it with the lens. That, and the fact that the “lens blur” filter bokeh doesn’t match the characteristic of lens bokeh, making things look strange.

@Zaira — Oh, I’ve fallen. On the one hand, it makes me feel invincible, like nothing can go wrong, but on the other hand, it’s an unconventional relationship, with unconventional feelings to go with it.