@mk — We seem to share this common bond of our experiences. Talking to a professional does help a tremendous deal. Otherwise, it’s difficult to tell if one is being unfairly biased in issues such as one’s parents, or if one is justified in finding out that they’re the root of some problems.

@Sophia — Interesting, you’re still on good terms with your parents, aren’t you? Have you ever told them?

Unfortunately, I don’t make friends easily and as I get older, it’s getting to that age where everyone is getting married.

@tina — Yes, it’s very hard not to recede back. It’s getting worse for me actually, and I avoid social contact (concerts, parties, etc though not small gatherings with friends). Not seeing friends makes me feel worse as well, but i isn’t a choice for me.

I’m not sure specifically what kind of therapy, but I do believe it’s cognitive-behavioral, based on the two workbooks he gave me. I’m curious as well since there are so many specializations in this field, but I keep forgetting to ask him.

out of curiosity jeff, what kind of therapist are you seeing? is it cognitive-behavioural? (not that it really matters in the end–studies show that people benefit from therapy no matter the type).

Maybe it’s time to find new single friends hard to meet people when all your friends are coupled up. I usually hang out with friends who are single, they’re more fun

But I’d probably need to just one day talk to you about it. I’m glad you are seeing these things and learning about them. I think it helps to talk to a professional who can understand these things about you and bring them out so that you learn to understand them for yourself.

I’m still waiting for your thoughts on the first thing my Counselor taught me.

‘Til then - I’m just sending you my positive energies. I meditated a flame yesterday, focusing my energies on it. I made it stand still. Then I just meditated its different layers, and I felt some element of peace. I wish this same peace to you. **sending you my good energy reserves**

I suppose if one wants to hold on to suffering and tie it to identity, tether it to creativity, it’s good to acknowledge that as a step. There’s a reason for that desire, to figure out, what one gains from it. If may be a little cognitive excuse or the monkey-brain is justifying hopping around and needs a different response to get the same needs met in a way that the whole person can benefit. Sort of the old bag of having many strategies.

Good point about the joie de vivre. As soon as I get bored of something, more often than not, there’s something else to take it’s place. I never realized this before.

@Uncle Joe — It’s hard for me to say, since a lot of this may be subconscious, but I don’t cry because I want to, I cry because I’m sad. I want to be sad and I don’t want to be sad at the same time.

Creativeness for me is actually somewhat out of control. When I’m in the creative zone, the words write themselves, spontaneously. I prefer it this way. It’s like having a mastery of a dance or a martial art: don’t think, just do.

Your idea about the beauty of Taoism being a reflection of the paradox of life is exactly right. I’m learning that there are techniques that can be used to enjoy and appreciate the paradox, instead of just trying to convince yourself to be happy, which doesn’t work. These techniques serve to enhance the idea of Taoism, by shedding problem triggers and behaviours.

@Causalien — No, I don’t need a psychologist to bring these ideas into focus. These are thoughts I’ve had on my own, coming from the questions he asks.

Psychologists are like a medical doctors. You don’t need to see a medical doctor to know that you have a pain in your stomach or a cyst on your back. But you do need one to diagnose which specific ailment you have by asking you about the frequency/severity of the pain, or doing tests for cancer, etc., and figuring out how to cure it. The first step is the diagnosis, which is where I am right now.

This one echoed most strongly with me. I also noticed that I have struggled with these questions at one time or another. Do you really need a psychologist to bring these into focus?

For me, I don’t have a solution for any of these. I just escape to another thought when I realized that the same thought repeated.

I don’t know anything about artistic creation. I guess the important thing is to make sure one is totally conscious of the fact that the suffering is only a part of the process of creation, so one is in complete control of what’s going on.

The beauty of Taoism is it gives a true reflection of life which is one big paradox in itself, and appreciating and enjoying the paradox of life will bring peace of mind.