When a man is full, what can he do?
Burst.
—Zorba, the Greek
Or in my case, overflow.
I started crying in class. Thankfully, no one noticed. People can get awkward around a crier. Unfortunately, suppressing a good cry is as unsatisfying as stifling a sneeze.
A lot of people having been saying the wrong things to me lately. On top of that, the abundance of interaction I have with people — a side-effect of my projects — is leaving me drained and overstimulated.
I don’t even have time to deal with this. I have to put it all aside, because there are more important things to think about right now.
At the bus stop, I realized that I have a tendency to brood. I don’t listen to happy songs to get me out of the mood. It’s all minor keys and lemon peels, so I can help it run its course.
It’s been a rough week.
Sometimes, a part of myself spills out.
“Sometimes I wonder if it’s in my nature to be emotional. That trying to change this is like trying to teach a bird not to sing.”
I would have to say that being emotional is everyone’s natural state and that society attempts to supress it, especially in men. There’s nothing wrong with it so why change it?
Many people suppress a cry because they don’t want to get the people around them feel awkward.
Happiness, sadness, or stress won’t make me cry. My eyes well up only when I listen to a great speech, or a great piece of music, I don’t know if these are what you’d call overstimulations.
@Tiana — You’re totally right. I think with men it’s as taboo as being perceived as homosexual, like it emasculates them or something. It makes me think that these burly, masculine men are just insecure, another reason why they feel the need to drive fast, keep their physical distance with other men, and don’t back down in arguments.
@Uncle Joe — I held back because I knew that some people would have interpreted me crying the incorrectly. Sometimes, people just don’t understand.
Music can easily make me cry, but that’s never happened with a speech. Perhaps my experience is limited; I’d love to hear one that was so moving. I wouldn’t consider these overstimulations. By overstimulated, I meant that felt very raw, like my skin had been rubbed with sandpaper from all my interaction, and the slightest touch would be too much. Only in a mental way.