Missing Kissing // equivocality

Posted in: Thoughts

I’m facing the very tangible possibility that I’ll be single for the rest of my life. Sometimes I wonder how I’ll survive. The strange part is that I feel like I was meant to be in a relationship. Quixotic ideas and romantic ideals have always pointed me in that direction, but either the right person hasn’t come along, or they’re taken.

At the same time, I wonder if I can be in another relationship. I’ve grown so accustomed to living alone, having things exactly my way, with time to work on my projects. No maintenance, as it were. How I do enjoy the freedom.

One situation isn’t better than the other, of course. Both have their pros and cons.

Still.

I miss kissing. More than the sex.

The quick acknowledgment of love in the form of a peck, or the intimacy of a make-out session.

Has the winter brought this feeling? Has the sight of snow and snowfall reminded me of how frigid the nights can be when you’re by yourself?

Or maybe it’s from being single for this long.

10 comments — Follow the feed

#1Cheryl

I’m in the same spot. I miss h-u-g-g-i-n-g, not kissing. The rest is extremely good and I wouldn’t voluntarily trade it.

#2sheryl

i’m sure the right girl will come around when you least expect it. and when she does you can lavish her with all the affection in the world!

#3Sophia

I miss first kisses. There’s nothing more exciting than a first kiss

I doubt you’ll be single forever, you have a lot to offer and I’m sure you’ll make some lucky girl very happy someday. Have you really been single a long time? I kind of liked being single, of course it’s easy for me to say because I’m married and I’ll probably feel differently if I was single again, but you have the rest of your life to be married, why not enjoy it now while it lasts?

#4Jeff

@Cheryl — Hugging is nice too, but I guess I get enough hugs from my friends on a regular basis, that that need is filled.

@sheryl — I just thought about that idea actually, the fact that being single has always made me better in relationships, because in a way, it makes me more eager. I plan on writing an entry about this.

@Sophia — I totally agree with you. The first kiss is always the best one.

It’s been about a year and a half that I’ve been single, not the longest dry spell in my life, but I’m getting there. And I give my friends the exact same advice; that we’ll miss such feelings when we’re secure in our relationships, because we won’t have the same adventure, mystery, and drama, so being single should be appreciated. I try to follow this advice, but that doesn’t mean I don’t miss the physical part of a relationship.

#5Sophia

This is when you a ‘friend’ that is also in the same boat…

#6Anonymous

You remind me of my unrequited love.

#7Jason

The part about enjoying the no maintenance - does that also translate into generally preferring low-to-no-maintenance partners?

#8Jeff

I think I’ve always preferred low-maintenance partners. This may partially be because I get overstimulated easily and frequently need time to myself. It may also partially be because I can be somewhat high-maintenance myself (or have been in the past) due to my lack of confidence, and two high-maintenance people don’t seem to work together.

#9Liz

I’m right there with you. I’ve been going through the same exact thing pretty much.

#10Jeff

It’s somewhat comforting to know that I’m not alone. We shall combine forces and take over the world!