You’re both right about a firm hug as an opportunity for being misconstrued, and I realize that I shouldn’t be so annoyed when I get a weak one. Definitely a delicate balance though. As I said in my recent assumption/interpretation rant, it’s up to how the person receiving interprets it, not the one giving, but an initiative for a hug is much more likely to put out the wrong idea.

Women are allowed to do more physical contact without it being sexual.

The rules are looser for women but at the same time if a woman holds too tight she’s at risk for seeming to be making “an advance”. If that’s the dynamic of concern, then it’s a delicate balance.

If the person is more straight-shooting and has the attitude, I’ll tell you in no uncertain terms if I’m interested that way, she has more freedom from the affection vs. coy complexity.

I’m not a limp hugger or a limp handshaker. When men give me wimpy handshakes, I call them on it and tell them that we have to do it again. However, I’ve never once re-called a hug. If a guy or girl gives me a wimpy hug it doesn’t mean much to me and I shrug it off.

Women need to feel adored, cared for and safe. It is our way of connecting. I think, though, that women give shitty hugs to men because sometimes they are afraid that the connection might be misconstrued as something else and therefore only do it halfway. I could be wrong, because I’m not the type to half-ass a hug. I love hugs.

In fact, I could use a hug right now! It’s a shitty day already at only 9AM!

PS. Love your writing lately. Perfect for autumn.

I give a firm handshake to whoever I meet, but I’ll only give a firm hug when I feel the other person doing the same. Otherwise, I feel like I’m being really creepy. And I generally only initiate a hug if you’re in my inner circle of friends. Maybe it’s my culture that’s made me stand-offish towards people with whom I’m not very familiar.

I’ve only kissed on the cheek twice in my life (not including my grandmother). Maybe I haven’t had enough practice, but it’s so awkward!

Although I guess hugging is a little more intimate, and girls hug everyone so that no one feels left out. They’ll probably give better hugs to people they care about vs people they just met.

I know girls who are just really into the hugging and they give everyone a good squeeze. I just don’t see myself as that open with people I don’t really know, and I also kind of gauge other people’s touchy-feely level. Some people who are really touchy feely, I’ll reciprocate, but if they’re kind of stand offish, I’m not going to throw myself onto them.