A Test Of Love // equivocality

Posted in: Random

So I deleted your numbers off my speed dial. I took down your pictures. It was an in-the-moment thing.

I’m calm now, seeing things objectively, yet still undecided.

Part of me wants to believe we can still be friends. That we can still hang out without me depending on you for anything. But I’m not like that, and I don’t stay friends with those on whom I can’t depend.

I put aside my issues for my friends, and I needed you to do the same for me.

I cried, not only because you weren’t there when I needed you, not only because you had a responsibility to my friends as well, but because I never allow those who hurt me so much to be a part of my life. Our friendship may be lost, and this is what upsets me the most. Perhaps it hurts so much because you were so important to me. I don’t want to lose that, but I’ll never forget what you did and I’ll never trust you again.

And if I can forgive you, you’ll know that I truly love you.

3 comments — Follow the feed

#1Rob Mayer

jeff man i wana talk to you about all this maybe were the world cant see or hear when my osap comes in i wana hit ott i remember i owe u a dinner thow that may be a strech from now so msn me when ur on hopefully im be here

#2Jeff

Thanks for the offer to talk, Rob. There’s been an outpouring of support from people that took me by surprise. As a result, I don’t feel so alone on this and it’s very comforting, not to mention that it helped me calm down.

#3xibee

I can only offer you my unthought, blurted response to your writing, an empahethic: OW!. Ow ow ow. I so know how this goes, dude, really.