I agree that it’s definitely a choice, something that must be found. I’m not so sure that there are any rules of attraction though. For many people it may apply, but not for those who don’t fit into society’s standards as normal, who are the ones I’m normally attracted to.

“No one proves themselves more inane than one who matches energy with energy, force with force.”

this idea encapsulates his basic idea in his book. It’s about the level of energy you choose to live in. lower,negative energy is based in force, higher, positive energy produces power.

glad you’ve chosen to embrace emotions, emotions tell us how we are thinking…are we thinking good things? negative things? bad things? then that’s the ‘power’ you are ‘putting out there’ and THAT is the same thing you will attract (Law of Attraction …see movie: The Secret)
Emotions are glorious! and will not be denied!

you’d love the read..though eckhart tolle writes a bit more eloquently.

It’s only recently that I’ve realized how difficult it is to deal with those who can’t laugh at themselves. As a result of their insecurities, they care about image and the opinions of others.

@Pearl — You’re right. Taoism is about finding that balance between action and inaction, though without passivity, and following the Way. I still struggle with it in certain situations to this day.

@CK — I learned a bit about that in my Tai Chi class and saw a demonstration once. It’s interesting to see how other Oriental martial arts relate to each other.

On a kind of related matter, aikido works off the same principle of not meeting an opponent’s attack with yet force, but rather redirecting it in a manner that causes as little harm to both persons as possible.

It can be hard to wrap the head around. It matches minimal force with firmness. Detachment with caring. Not escalating and not retreating. It takes a long while to master that.

“When someone attacks you with words or tries to make you feel any less than yourself, you merely need acquiesce.

In doing so, you disarm them. You rob them of their only weapon — anger — and their words lose all meaning and significance.”

More than that, you confuse them. It’s not what they expect and they are left with no obvious way to continue other than to repeat themselves. There are few more difficult to launch a tirade against than those who are self-deprecating. It’s a tactic I’ve used on a number of occasions (especially when the attack is completely justified!). Also those who can adopt such a stance of humility or who can laugh at their own inadequacies are usually well liked.

Apologies are circumstantial. In the case you bring up, both parties agree that one person did something wrong. There’s learning, growth involved. Very attractive.

In the case of the entry above, neither party agrees on who is wrong. There’s no point arguing; it won’t go anywhere with such a disagreement. When one person attacks the other, the best option is to yield.

I’ve had enough relationships to figure out the former, but it took an interesting and specific set of circumstances to force myself to learn the latter.