Comments on: The Bias of Insecurity

By: Jeff

Jeff — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 03:28:10 +0000

Short answer: Become a Taoist.

Long answer: There isn’t much you can do about it because these people are blind to their own blindness. The best thing to do, in my humble opinion, is to try explaining to them, “I’m not attacking you, I’m simply differing in my opinion”. That way, you can say that at least you tried to get them to see your side as best you could.

If she still doesn’t understand (and most likely won’t), then you can avoid her, or keep conversation brief and curt. If she notices this and asks you if anything is wrong, this can be your opportunity to explain why you don’t want to talk to her anymore.

If even this doesn’t work, then it’s probably best that you accept the fact that people like this exist in the world (as a Taoist would). There’s nothing you can do to change them, so you can embrace them (much easier said than done, I know), and understand the fact that because of people like this, it helps you appreciate other open-minded, intelligent, and objective people.

By: alice

alice — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 02:15:52 +0000

i have to deal with a person like this on a daily basis. i dont know what to do. conversations with her drive me crazy. she also takes everything i say as a direct offense to her and her opinions, even though the subject matter has nothing to do with her. any suggestions?

By: Jeff

Jeff — Sat, 20 Jan 2007 01:42:39 +0000

@Travis — Great analogy. It reminds me of a quote from Enter the Dragon: “It is like a finger, pointing away to the moon. Don’t concentrate on the finger, or you will miss all that heavenly glory”.

By: Travis

Travis — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 22:15:17 +0000

This is right on the mark. I almost feel guilty for giving up on these people, but they can’t see past their own beliefs, thus, often restricting themselves from the truth. While you are trying to point them in the right direction, they are concentrating on your finger, not the path.

By: Jeff

Jeff — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 03:13:27 +0000

@Reno — Then you know exactly how I felt for much of the weekend.

@Anonymous — Two word response: Thank you.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 16 Jan 2007 23:37:40 +0000

“The discussion is superficial, and the issue lies within the person themselves.”

Two Word Response: Well said.

By: Reno

Reno — Tue, 16 Jan 2007 16:11:27 +0000

I know what you mean. Sometimes I see somebody say something on TV and it puts me in a weird way for days. Just knowing that there are certain things being said out there can be pretty distracting from everyday life.

By: Jeff

Jeff — Tue, 16 Jan 2007 13:34:27 +0000

@Pearl — Denial! That’s the word I was looking for, but couldn’t put my finger on. I find that too often it’s a permanent state, because of the cycle of bias->denial->bias, but hopefully that’s just in my limited experience.

@ACG — You’re absolutely right; bias is an essential tool for our survival. It’s understanding these biases that’s important. Even historians who can’t step aside from their biases should at least recognize and state them, so we understand that their interpretation of historical events is personal on some level.

@Reno — I just find it plain frustrating. Even if I’m watching a debate on TV, and I’m not involved at all. Usually I walk away, or I won’t be able to sleep. I wrote this entry because I had to get it off my chest one night.

@amy — I agree that a conscious effort to see the world differently can go great lengths. Unfortunately, most bigots believe that they’re right, so they don’t have the desire to try this. I should put Power vs Force next on my list of books to read, sounds like it may blow my mind.

By: amy

amy — Tue, 16 Jan 2007 00:46:01 +0000

people like that calibrate very low on the scales of consciousness.
which is why, exactly for the reasons you stated, they will never be able to understand anything outside of their little world, unless they make a conscious effort to see the world thru a new perspective.
The book I told you of: Power vs Force (by david hawkins)
explains all the biogotry, fear, guilt, blame, resentment, pride, greed, etcc.
that people feel
It’s all thanks to the ‘ego’
once we see that it is our ‘ego’ that seperates us from all, and is the source of all suffering..we can see how including a world perspective OUTSIDE of our ego is very empowering.
He teaches us how to look at our ‘ego’ as our own inner ‘pet’ if you will, one that provides a source of humour, but one that needs attention and training, much like a pet does.
We are not our ego’s
they only help us survive.
We are SOOOOoo much more than our ego’s.
I KNOW that book is one you could really ’sink your teeth into’
I bet much of what he asserts, is already part of your perspective.

DARE ya….

By: Reno

Reno — Tue, 16 Jan 2007 00:32:06 +0000

I usually find them hilarious to listen to, until I have to deal with them myself of course. It’s frustrating to think that no amount of correct or accurate thoughts you can conjure will ever sway them. I like to think I generally stay open to things, but when I’m feeling like an ass I can be pretty narrow, which leads me to believe that bigots are just cradle-to-grave asses who will never be satisfied with the truth they don’t like.