10 Oct 06

Letter To My Mother

Posted in: Random

You didn’t know it, but for years I’ve come close to burning the bridge with you. It was a heavy step to take, because in doing so, I knew that I would never be able to go back on such a drastic decision.

I appreciate all the financial support you’ve provided. It’s been more than I can ask for. Unfortunately, what I wanted and needed the most was emotional support.

I’ve always played the role of the submissive son. Your boy who’s always done what you wanted and agreed with what you said. When we exchanged tears on the phone in August, I let you know how poorly I was treated growing up. I’ve always put up with it, but the way you acted last week was the straw that broke the camels back. I keep giving you a chance, over and over. Seeing you over those few days was the last one. Even if you say now that you can change, the risk isn’t worth it. The potential misery, frustration, and anguish you may cause me aren’t worth it.

Normally, I would be sensitive about the timing — the fresh divorce, the transition — but I don’t care anymore. I’ve put my feelings aside my whole life. You pushed me too far, and now I have to consider myself.

Don’t contact me again. Not even if someone dies. Any calls, messages, e-mails will be ignored. This is not an easy or a brash decision for me, a decision I’ve made after cooling off and calming down, but from my point of view it’s for the best.

You give me nothing but pain and money, and the money doesn’t mean a thing.

From now on, I don’t have a mother.

And you don’t have a son.

6 comments — Follow the feed
#1jess

i’m so sorry jeff. despite it being such a hard thing to do, like you said, not an easy decision, maybe it is for the best. Dont know anything else to say, be strong. even if it is your choice-you may think twice about it later. Be strong.

#2loo

” Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist ”

I trust this was a difficult letter to write, that you sent it or not, that you voiced it or not make it no easier, i’m sure. Admitting it to yourself and standing up for yourself are strongest things you could do. I’m sorry it came to this.

That was harsh. It must have taken a lot out of you to make that decision, put it down on paper and deliver it. You need that break. Courage.

Cheers
Tisha

It’s very sad that it’s come to that. I hope this decision isn’t a burden for you and that you’re coping ok. There seems to be so much emotional tumult in your life, I wish for you that it slows down a little, that you can relax soon.

I totally understand coming from a place, where,
you finally have to do whats best for you, no matter the relationship you hurt, break, or terminate.
I hope you find some peace soon
hope the ‘torture’ session helped
holy shit
looks like you went thru a pilgrimage ritual or somethin’ freaky ;)

cheers, Amy

The letter wasn’t very hard to write actually, most of it flowed quite easily. It wasn’t even a burden of a decision, it was exactly what I needed to do. I can say that I did my best to avoid things coming to this.

Thanks to everybody for the support.

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