Over ten years ago, I lived at my aunt’s house for about four months in the summer. Much of my maternal family was visiting from Hong Kong, so everyone stayed there as a central location.
One day my parents had a blow-out. It was trivial, as always. As a result, from my mom’s side of the story, he went out with another woman that night. From his side, my mom tried to kill him with a steak knife. It cut his finger to the bone when he was defending himself. The next day, with swollen eyes and a weak voice, my mom showed me the yellow bruises down her arm. They had to be photographed by the police as evidence before they healed. Two subpoena’s later and they were better than new, for the next few months at least until the next fight.
This is the last memory I have of my aunt’s house. I haven’t been back since. Not until this weekend.
Now everyone from my maternal side is here, all my mom’s siblings and their respective families. It started out as an act of commiseration, to help her out during the divorce. Aunt, uncle, and son, aunt, uncle, and son, aunt and uncle. And then there’s me, with my mom. Without father. The only broken family.
At first I think it’s just a coincidence. My aunt and uncle have the same vacuum cleaner that we had, the same piano, the same brown cowhide corner sofa. And then it clicks. Since the divorce, my mom sold the house after buying out my father of the contents. Everything is stored here until she moves into her new house, from the basement to the family room, from the kitchen to the bathroom.
I need to get out of here.
I need to get the fuck out of here.
I hate to think of you feeling sad about all this. I hope the family visit is going somewhat smoothly and you can put these thoughts behind you. Remembering is important, even dark things, but dwelling is dangerous. I’m sorry it’s been hard.
I empathize with ya
I witnessed my mom and dad fighting like that , when I was 5 yrs. old..
that was before he took off when she filed for divorce.…
nice, eh?
age 5?
look at it this way, they’ll be happier w/o each other, somethin they shoulda done looong ago…
always sucks to be in the middle though
hope you’re enjoying the autumn weather!
Amy
This is the part where I stopped thinking of my dad as a father.
Bean: Thanks, but you’re right…dwelling is dangerous. I’m still doing my best to forget all this.
Amy: I’ve already accepted that my parents are better off without each other. That’s the easy part. The hard part is being in the middle, but I’m sure others have gone through worse, such as yourself.
Pita: You’re probably one of the people who understands the situation best, coming from a similar culture. I suppose I still think of my dad as a father, because he hasn’t actively done anything to hurt me; it’s all been passive.