A short detour, 80 km, Toronto to Hamilton.
We met up with Sandra for dinner. Prior to this, I only knew Sandra as John’s “best friend from school”, the one he spends most his time with when he’s not with his girlfriend. On the drive up my curiosity was killing me. Was this Sandra person a threat to my friendship with John? Would she eventually replace me as the one he goes to with his problems, his insecurities, his excitements, and would I lose my best friend in return?
No.
Social graces dictate that you don’t strike up a dinner conversation on which not everyone can opine, but when you get two legal-minded people together, there’s isn’t much non-law-student can do but listen and observe.
They got along well, but there’s a certain level of intimacy missing. They still feel each other out, whereas John and I have conversations with a single look. When we left, I was reassured of my position as best friend, and felt silly about how I could be so insecure about a bond so strong.
300 km, Hamilton to Windsor.
I had never been to Windsor before. It’s always remained a place in my head, never tangible, because it’s always John who visits me. Windsor is where he goes to law school, where he spends the majority of the year, and where he works. This was the first chance I had to submerge myself in his life and lifestyle.
I went to work with him at the community law office. It’s here that he shares an open office with a dozen other students, who defend clients from bad landlords, tenants, parents, children, shoplifters, or any other type of living thing.
Law students are a different breed. They’re people who have initiative, who can be extroverted at the right time. After work, they meet at a pub, sit on the patio, and talk about their cases, about the crown attorneys who have vendettas against them, about moronic clients who speak out of turn and plead guilty to a charge before a bargain can be reached.
I was a fish out of water.
Given a short tour of the University of Windsor, I took a few quick snaps.
The first night we arrived in Windsor, John noticed the window was open, with a note from his girlfriend about caring for the hibiscus just outside. He stuck his head out the window to see. “How fitting”, he said. “The plant has fallen over, and died”.
Minutes before leaving for the next part of our trip, they broke up.
That video is perfect — this whole “road trip down memory lane with the best friend” is perfect! I’d love to do this with my best friend. Anyway, there is something amazing about the way a friend can help you look at something in a different way and see what’s really true. You did that from him in that moment, at a time when I’m sure he really needed it. I don’t think you need to worry about being replaced as a best friend :)
A sudden break-up after 5 years? That’s pretty heavy stuff for a vacation! Still, he looked reassured by your comments and it sounds like you have so much fun together. Kinda lucky you were there so he had a really good friend by his side :)
Thanks Teresa, I’m glad that the friendship I have with John is strong enough that other people can see it.
And Bean, the break-up wasn’t very sudden actually; it was planned for about a month before-hand, but that still didn’t mean that it was easy for John. It didn’t make for a great vacation, but it was also the right time for me to be there to cheer him up.
Insecure in your position? That reminds me of your episode with Ian. How’s the difference when looking from the other side of the glass?
Heh, definitely an interesting idea. It was only a fleeting feeling. Perhaps if I really felt like I did something wrong, I would be a little more scared.