Aaron and Karen adopted another cat, and named her Lacey. She’s a tiny thing, with downy white hair and ears like satellite dishes. So far she’s a bit shy, as Chaos follows her around often, but I think she’ll get used to it.

Until Lacey came along, I would have never suspected how much the cats look like their owners, but the resemblance, as difficult as it was to put my finger on at first, is striking. Chaos is the nearly overweight cat who sometimes has a goofy look on his face like he’s saying “WHATSGOINGONOVERHEREGUYS??”, and Lacey is much smaller with big ears and delicate features.

Over breakfast, a generous gorging of sausage links, over easy, and hashed browns, the realization dawns on me that out of the eight people seated, four of us have worked in the same office.

In fact, three of us had the same job; while Aaron was working as a developer, Pat was brought in to replace Jacques, and I was hired when Pat left. What a small world. That’s how Pat and I met Aaron, how Aaron met Jacques, and it was only on that day, four years later, that Pat was introduced to Jacques.

Now we can sit around a breakfast table, filling ourselves with greasy food and caffeine in preparation for a weekend of gaming.

How long ago those days seem, working in an unmotivated government office, dating someone I thought I wanted to make my wife. I remarked to Pat how funny it was to believe back then that I knew what I wanted in life, and with a smirk, he asked me, “You think you know what you want now?”.

The question was rhetorical, of course. Sometimes Pat knows me better than I know myself. In his way, he was reminding me that even now, after all my contemplation and all my conclusions, I still may not have figured that out yet.

Do I really know what I want?

Not really. In my career, my relationships, my short-term life I can say that there’s a path I’m moving towards, but I also know that this will most likely change. As I learn and grow, as new goals are met and made, what I want changes too.

And perhaps being sure of this is what I really want.

I called in sick again today, but this time I didn’t go in.

In Psych 101, you learn that a group of students are sprayed in the face with the cold bacteria during their exams, while a control group is sprayed during the regular school year. The result is that the students going through their finals are more than twice as likely to get sick. Stress lowers the immune system, and the lesson here is that there’s a direct connection between the health of the mind and the body.

Knowing this isn’t enough to prevent it. Sometimes it all adds up, and you get worn down.

Little surprises come in the form of friends offering to pick things up from the pharmacy, people I’ve never even spoken to asking if I’m okay, or care packages from ex-girlfriends, consisting of chocolate bars, vitamin C drops, African peanut soup, a DVD of BMW shorts, and even a get-well-soon card.

A couple of shots (no pun intended) from Trolley’s birthday celebration, also marking my first forray into the digital SLR camera world. I had no idea how much was involved in photography until I started going fully manual (quite a change from my simple point-and-shoot Elph), but just trying to achieve what’s “technically” correct has made me appreciate both what the professionals go through and what the artists try to express.

It’s been rough going the last few weeks. Every day is a conflict between doing something relaxing, doing the chores that will make me feel comfortable, or going to bed. Even now I can’t relax. I clean my mirrors of fingerprints in between sentences, or brush Dolly of excess fur as she forcefully nudges my wrists in mirth, and only continue writing when I come up with the next idea.

A sore throat and weary body had me calling in sick today (I suspect that I caught something from petting the same cat as Karen yesterday, who’s seems sick as a dog), although I ended up going in and working six hours anyway. All the extra curricular things are slowly wearing me down. There’s the two side-businesses, the new effort of learning as much as I can about my new Canon Rebel XT by photographing everything, and the blogging. I also started table tennis again, although I’m not sure how often I can attend, taking four hours out of a weekday. The one reprieve is a LAN party I’ve had planned since September that starts tomorrow, and even though it’ll be a good weekend of gaming, it’ll still mean little rest. Normally I’m planned, prepared, and practiced for a LAN, but this time it’ll all be improvised.

I’m being tested, and even though I know that I’ll get through this, it’s still difficult. I’m forced to deal with people I’ve avoided my entire life. I’m pushing myself past the limits of anything I’ve ever gone through. To be honest, it’s a little easier than I woud have imagined. The strength and confidence that I’ve gained over the last two years has helped tremendously. Knowing that things get done in their own time keeps me from being overwhelmed. If I can make it through this, I’ll be stronger than ever.