I see the parts but not the whole
I study saints and schol­ars both
No per­fect plan unfurls
Do I trust my heart or just my mind
Why is truth so hard to find in this world
Yeah in this world

‘Cause I am due for a mir­a­cle
I’m wait­ing for a sign
I’ll stare straight into the sun
And I won’t close my eyes
Till I under­stand or go blind

—Thrice, Stare At The Sun

Even at my age, whether oth­ers may con­sid­er it young or old, I haven’t decid­ed on a spe­cif­ic set of beliefs, whether they be reli­gious, philo­soph­i­cal, or psy­cho­log­i­cal.

In try­ing times I find myself wish­ing that I had some­thing, some form of struc­ture that would make sense of the things that hap­pen. The most serene peo­ple I know are also the most pious, as they seem to have an answer for the seem­ing­ly unex­plained or unde­served. I’ve often asked the­ists, the ones whose intel­li­gence I respect, what has made them believe in one or sev­er­al gods. Most com­mon­ly the answer is that they have enough evi­dence for such an exis­tence. Even though I’ve had a few serendip­i­tous expe­ri­ences myself, things which I can’t explain by chance alone, it has­n’t been enough to give me a defin­i­tive answer.

I used to be an athe­ist, then an agnos­tic, until I became com­plete­ly unde­cid­ed. It’s rare to find oth­er peo­ple who are open-mind­ed enough to admit that they are still learn­ing, or have yet to dis­cov­er what so many oth­er peo­ple already have. What I know for sure is that I still have the rest of my life to find out, to walk that path and make that jour­ney.

Gimmie a girl who isn’t afraid to stare at the sun with me.

The Thrice = Love Series

1. Introduction
2. The Journey
3. As The Crucible
4. Rock It
5. The Rush
6. Far From The End