I promised John I’d be sober until the next time I see him, which should be in the last week of August, if every­thing goes as planned.

I had dif­fi­culty mak­ing the promise for myself. I’ve eas­ily gone cold turkey before, by my own free will, but that was because I was in a rela­tion­ship. John’s the last per­son in the world I want to let down. He’s lost enough already, includ­ing his mother and his sense of smell.

Sometimes one needs a rea­son. Sometimes one needs some­one for whom to stop.