I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar.
I called Pat yesterday. In the past, I’ve always let him call me, since he’s invariably more busy than I am. Even if we try to make plans to hang out, we usually leave off with him getting back to me as soon as he finds out when he’s available next, due to the fact that he likes to be booked a month in advance. This time, I wanted to be the one initiating, because I realized that out of all my friends, I see him the least. Even if we hang out once a month, which may be considered quite sufficient, that’s only 12 times in a year.
The thing that makes it awkward is the fact that I don’t know the make-up of his social calendar. I don’t know how much of his life is devoted to Jen or allocated for other friends. Usually I only see him between events, and he’s always rushing off to do something else. The last thing I want to do is be a selfish person and smother him, especially a person whose time is as valuable as his. This is actually one of the things I worry about, when I know that I shouldn’t (John has recently helped me realize that I overanalyze things). I trust that Pat will let me know when I start taking up too much of his time.
In either case, as usual, he’s going to call me back to have dinner at the Black Tomato. I had to recommend that we go, because I always enjoy myself when I patronize that restaurant. I also chose to have a meal instead of doing something else, because food is one of Pat’s hobbies. He treated me the last time we had dim sum, when it was actually my turn, so I’m hoping he won’t put up a fight when I go to pay for the bill. In addition to the great fusion food, I’ll have the chance to order a glass of Wynns Coonawarra Estate cabernet sauvignon which I haven’t had the pleasure of tasting for a few months.
A chance to catch up, a chance to get to know Jen better, a chance to try out some new food. It’s going to be good.