Arggh, I dislike that very much.

Ok, so I agree that no one can really understand exactly what you may be feeling, experiencing, or going through at any one time, but that does not mean they cannot relate and contribute to interpreting, resolving, or dealing with that state. We are social beings and function best when we reciprocate our thoughts and feelings with each other. In a way, to believe that no one can even remotely understand you is arrogant, and to discount peoples attempts to is insulting.

Perhaps, but you cannot always assume no one can relate.

I agree it’s arrogant that no one else could possibly feel as you do. And, I’d just like to throw in for good measure, at least those people care enough to try.

What I said was that someone shouldn’t assume that they know or understand me simply based on a shared circumstance. That’s why I used the fragment, “just because you are, or have ever been, in the same situation”. This is about projection bias and assumption, not understanding.

I don’t see how someone could interpret this as saying that no one will ever know or understand. I find that people are generally wrong about me most of the time, although not all of the time. That’s why I wrote, “You’re usually wrong”, instead of “You’re always wrong”. I’m sure that there are many people who can definately understand or relate to the things I’m going through after I give them the proper explanation, but many people don’t bother to find out my version of a situation, and assume it’s the same as theirs. Many completely misjudge me based on their pre-conceived notion of a set of limited circumstances.

These comments are a perfect example.

Nowhere did I state that no one can relate. Nowhere did I state that no one can understand me. Nowhere did I state that no one else can feel like I do. I simply said that someone shouldn’t feel as though they can relate to what I’m going through based on their own experiences with the situation. The situation may be the same, but the experience is usually quite different, and it’s the experience that determines the final thoughts and ideas. I completely agree that we’re social beings and function best when we reciprocate our thoughts and feelings with each other, but there’s no communication after assumption. Then assumption becomes a lack of reciprocation.

And for good measure, a person who simply assumes that others are like them does not try to understand, and certainly does not care to try to understand. In fact, the opposite is true, because they’ve already made their judgement without any attempt at understanding from the proper angle.

ow thats a bit of a bitter entry…:(

Wow… you seemed to have upset a few people.

BTW, “Karry Ling” didn’t take too long. (”,)

Take care