For over a decade, my life has been a struggle towards becoming a better person. I’m not sure why I started to live this way, although I suspect that it was the result of a confused childhood, growing up with an almost completely unrestrained guidance. There was no sense of morality, perspective, and most importantly, purpose. I started feeling out my own worldview without being consciously aware of it at the time, and the result of all of this was a collective yearning for self-improvement as an effort to define myself and the things around me.
A few years ago, I realized that self-improvement is the highest form of living, that the best someone can do for him or herself is to be a better person. No other belief has become as important in my life. It sets learning as the greatest good, no matter what the means. Pain, loneliness, and hardship become beneficial. For years, my struggle for self-improvement was almost tangibly manifested. I could understand exactly the parts of myself that I wanted to change and make better, so I would slowly turn my life in that direction. As much as all of this helped me, it was still a struggle.
But even past this “useful” worldview or attitude is a more abstract goal (I refrain from using the word “positive”, because I feel that my understanding is more of what I consider a simple subjective realism, than the connotation of bias associated with “positive”). Whereas a polymath is someone with a relatively academic breadth of knowledge, I try to be rounded in a more general sense. This means an understanding and appreciation of anything, from humour, to wine, to music, to conversation, to narcotics, to relationships.
Simply put, I strive to be a better person in as many aspects as possible. I strive to be a dynamic person, who will never stop learning. I want to be able to have a conversation with any person I meet, no matter how different his walk of life is from mine. I want people I’ve known for years to be surprised by something I may do or say tomorrow, such as Trolley with my orgasm theories, or Pita with my growing securities. I want to be equally intellectually and emotionally powerful. To not have any weaknesses. To never stop improving.
To be truly universal.