Relevant Renaissance

For over a decade, my life has been a strug­gle towards becom­ing a bet­ter per­son. I’m not sure why I started to live this way, although I sus­pect that it was the result of a con­fused child­hood, grow­ing up with an almost com­pletely unre­strained guid­ance. There was no sense of moral­ity, per­spec­tive, and most impor­tantly, pur­pose. I started feel­ing out my own world­view with­out being con­sciously aware of it at the time, and the result of all of this was a col­lec­tive yearn­ing for self-improvement as an effort to define myself and the things around me.

A few years ago, I real­ized that self-improvement is the high­est form of liv­ing, that the best some­one can do for him or her­self is to be a bet­ter per­son. No other belief has become as impor­tant in my life. It sets learn­ing as the great­est good, no mat­ter what the means. Pain, lone­li­ness, and hard­ship become ben­e­fi­cial. For years, my strug­gle for self-improvement was almost tan­gi­bly man­i­fested. I could under­stand exactly the parts of myself that I wanted to change and make bet­ter, so I would slowly turn my life in that direc­tion. As much as all of this helped me, it was still a struggle.

But even past this “use­ful” world­view or atti­tude is a more abstract goal (I refrain from using the word “pos­i­tive”, because I feel that my under­stand­ing is more of what I con­sider a sim­ple sub­jec­tive real­ism, than the con­no­ta­tion of bias asso­ci­ated with “pos­i­tive”). Whereas a poly­math is some­one with a rel­a­tively aca­d­e­mic breadth of knowl­edge, I try to be rounded in a more gen­eral sense. This means an under­stand­ing and appre­ci­a­tion of any­thing, from humour, to wine, to music, to con­ver­sa­tion, to nar­cotics, to relationships.

Simply put, I strive to be a bet­ter per­son in as many aspects as pos­si­ble. I strive to be a dynamic per­son, who will never stop learn­ing. I want to be able to have a con­ver­sa­tion with any per­son I meet, no mat­ter how dif­fer­ent his walk of life is from mine. I want peo­ple I’ve known for years to be sur­prised by some­thing I may do or say tomor­row, such as Trolley with my orgasm the­o­ries, or Pita with my grow­ing secu­ri­ties. I want to be equally intel­lec­tu­ally and emo­tion­ally pow­er­ful. To not have any weak­nesses. To never stop improving.

To be truly universal.

6 comments

  1. You can def­i­nitely talk to any­one about any­thing. It’s up to them how to respond.

  2. exactly! i couldn’t have put it bet­ter myself!

  3. Re to your com­ment:
    The Devil Ducky is awe­some as well. The site I found bondage ducky on claimed it needed AA bat­ter­ies. I’m intrigued and in love.

  4. You lit­tle tran­shu­man­ist. Hah. In a comic book world, I would cast you as the sci­en­tist that started his exper­i­ments in bion­ics with the good inten­tions stated here.

  5. i like your approach… although its inher­ent dan­ger is a lack of per­sonal iden­tity… it’s dif­fi­cult to be upright and per­verse, emo­tional and intel­lec­tual, impen­e­tra­ble and vul­ner­a­ble, with­out sac­ri­fic­ing the integrity and value of all of them.

  6. Transhumanist…It’s funny, when I was younger, my goal was to be a com­pletely cere­bral per­son, but I would always have a fear of end­ing up like a robot. It’d be inter­est­ing to know how the ethics of tech­nol­ogy used to extend human capa­bil­i­ties would fit into this. I don’t have a firm opin­ion on bion­ics yet, but I def­i­nitely know that I’d like to be a cool comic book scientist.

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