The half ounce. Financed by one, shared by many.

I have to say more about DFA 1979’s debut LP. I’m amazed that two young guys from Canada could come up with an album that’s as funky, loud, raw, and developed as this. They aren’t the White Stripes, as some have tragically compared. What’s the difference? DFA 1979 doesn’t have shitty vocals, shitty drums, or shitty songs (although they also don’t have a moderately cute female drummer). THEY DON’T EVEN PLAY THE SAME INSTRUMENTS. A BASS IS NOT THE SAME AS A GUITAR YOU FUCKING IDIOTS. WHAT THE HELL WAS YOUR BASIS OF COMPARISON? THE NUMBER OF MEMBERS IN THE BAND? LET’S JUST COMPARE NIRVANA TO THE BRAD MEHLDAU TRIO CAUSE THEY BOTH HAVE THREE MEMBERS.

Anyway.

Listening to Romantic Rights can make anyone feel like a million bucks just walking down the street. I know I do.

I tried on Cool Water by Davidoff yesterday. It smelled great on the sample card with its distinctly refreshing scent, but had the unfortunate effect of turning into an odor reminiscent of paradichlorobenzene as I learned in chemistry, or what is commonly referred to as “urinal cake”, when applied to my skin. It was an effort to not micturate on my wrists for the rest of the day.

Prolongs pleasure with climax control lubricant.

• Contains heat activated climax control lubricant on the inside and silky-smooth lubricant on the outside
• Fitted shape for easy-on and great feel
• Low latex scent
• WARNING: Premature ejaculation may be due to a condition requiring medical supervision

I wonder what the target market is. Men who can’t seem to last longer than eight seconds, or sensitive guys who just want to be better lovers for their woman? I’ve been led to believe that they’re for men who don’t enjoy having any feelings in their cock after sex. (I apologize for the use of the word cock in the last sentence. My entries have been commented as being strongly penile, which bothers some women. The word itself makes some women uncomfortable. Penis.)

They remind me of this trip to the dentist I had when I was young, and had been a bad boy for letting a cavity develop. Before cleaning the site and cementing the filling, my dentist stuck me with three needles of local anesthetic. 15 minutes later, he came back and started to work sore, fully sensational, mouth. I left his office, and shortly after I got home, my mouth went completely numb and I stharted to taalk liyke thith.

In ten minutes, the redness of the sky and the morning fog are gone. The day resumes.

Sometimes, living just means being at the right place at the right time.