I have this the­ory that there’s no myth to the female orgasm. There are some who can have one and some who can’t. Most of the girls I’ve dated have been able to achieve cli­max (or have led me to believe so), but there was one who never did and never seemed to care. There is no set attribute for all women.

This may be sup­ported by the fact that it’s the same with the types of orgasms, which vary not only from woman to woman, but from each occur­ring time as well. Some are implo­sive, some are explo­sive. Some are cen­tered in a region, some affect the entire body. Some cause lethargy, some cause energy.

I think the abil­ity to have an orgasm is mostly men­tal. The girl­friend who never had one was a stone in bed, and I later real­ized that she had the men­tal capac­ity to match.

Another girl­friend was of a sim­i­lar demeanour, but I could tell that she had the abil­ity to be taught at the right time, and the right per­son would have the patience to teach her the right things. I find that men­tally strong girls are the ones who have the best orgasms. They’re also the most fun, because they know what they like and they aren’t afraid to ask for it, allow­ing for a lot of explo­ration. It was only when I met a strong girl that I was com­fort­able push­ing her body, com­fort­able fig­ur­ing out what she liked. She had the best orgasms, and she’s the only one I know who’s been able to have two very dif­fer­ent, very dis­tinct orgasms in a row, or orgasms that would last longer than a minute.

Even the expres­sions after­wards are unique, whether it’s a joc­u­lar look of “Don’t touch me, I’m over­stim­u­lated” or bewil­dered “What the FUCK did you just do?” or “Give me a minute, I can’t feel my brain”. Guys are totally dif­fer­ent. Their expres­sions are linked to their orgasms, and they only have two: the angry face (aggres­sive, dom­i­nant, empow­er­ing), and the con­fused face (soft, whim­per­ing, almost sorry, à la Ben Stiller in There’s Something About Mary).

But that’s just my theory.