I think my alarm woke me up this morning.

In university I would dream of differential equations, logic gates, algorithmic proofs, anything that I crammed in my head the night before. If I didn’t dream it, I wasn’t ready. Everything was sterile, unemotional. I wouldn’t be watching myself write an exam, I’d be writing it. My conscious thoughts would take over my subconscious mind.

This is different. All day I think. At night, I try to sleep but can’t, and all I do is start to think again. Then, somehow, my alarm wakes me up. Have I slept? Was I actually thinking, or just dreaming about it? My jaw is sore. I’m clenching my teeth. When did I start? Was it before or after I got in bed? My eyes are sealed shut again. Have I been crying? Did I cry in my unconscious, or did I do it consciously and forget?