Comments on: It's a D/s Life: A Beginning

By: loo

loo — Thu, 30 Sep 2004 11:06:53 +0000

The Story of O is also a beautifully written novel, translated from French written by Pauline Reage. The story is fantastic, in that its very fantasy driven. Its very formalized, which is something i enjoy tremendously. Its quite explicit at times and some may find it offensive or… perhaps a little too poignant (though in liturature, i dont know how that is possible, BUT i’ve heard it!)

Its normally available in chapters, its a simple white soft cover.

Oh, and by the way sweetheart, i have the beauty trillogy, so dont go buy it(o=.

By: Jeff

Jeff — Thu, 30 Sep 2004 09:42:17 +0000

I’m thinking that I should pick up the books after work…I’ve been looking at D/s from a highly intellectualized point of view, and doing this has clouded my perspective. I see things rather cut and dry without the proper passion that should be involved, when passion is such an important part of the lifestyle. Due to this, my girlfriend finds the discussions tedious instead of fun and interesting. Sometimes I’m not sure how to act or what to do, and I try to figure things out on a cerebral level when I should be looking at things more basically. For example, I don’t think I would ever have understood the enjoyment with spanking if I just looked at it purely on an intellectual level. I really had to try it to understand it.

I’d still like to find something from a Doms perspective though, because I think it would relate much more to what I’m going through. There are movies, such as Secretary, where a person discovers herself as a sub and the emotions that they go through, and I’d like to learn these things from the other end of the spectrum.

There’s actually a section in The Loving Dominant where Warren explains that his target audience is also novice Doms, and a part is actually addressed to people who have been given the book by their girlfriend/boyfriend because they’ve discovered that this is something that is needed in their lives.

By: number18

number18 — Wed, 29 Sep 2004 21:52:07 +0000

The Sleeping Beauty triology is, I would say, almost exclusively from the perspective of the sub as well… though the masters the slaves deal with are all quite interesting, and in their actions there is much to be read. And lots and lots of spankings.

Now I think I’m going to pick up the Loving Dominant. Perhaps hand it off to my boyfriend. I…am sort of alone in the way I’m attracted to BDSM, and certainly am not living it as a lifestyle. My boyfriend participated once, and he took the role on surprisingly well and it was beautiful. But it seemed as though he got scared of himself afterwards, like he was afraid he could be that way and that he might hurt me somehow. I just have to very slowly work him into things, I suppose. Now I’m rambling, but it’s nice to see someone else traveling down this path. Yes.

By: Jeff

Jeff — Wed, 29 Sep 2004 14:16:42 +0000

I saw Secretary recently for the first time actually, and I admit that I wouldn’t have had any idea what it was about without reading the first few chapters of The Loving Dominant. Even though it was more from the perspective of a sub, I still learned a lot from it.

What I still need to learn, however, is to stop speaking for other people because I obviously don’t always get things right and end up looking like a bastard.

By: loo

loo — Wed, 29 Sep 2004 11:56:30 +0000

i dont subscribe to freud’s theories exclusively sweetheart. Things are not so cut and dry, black and white, hot and cold as it would be easier to believe… on some levels, i personally believe that most interactions between men and women are indeed sexually fueled. I’m not talking in “lifestyle” terms, i’m talking business, everyday stuff. You know, as well as anyone dear, that this isnt about the sex for me… its about the deeper connection, the trust, the strength that it builds and the safety it provides.
*steps off her soap box*

By: number18

number18 — Wed, 29 Sep 2004 11:52:37 +0000

Yeah, you know, a lot of reviews on amazon.com from people that, again, hated the book…and even some of the people that liked it, fail to realize that the story isn’t just about really kinky sex. They claim there’s no character or plot development, and somehow miss the mental transformation of one unwitting, inhibited and scared girl to someone that feels like she can only be free in such a lifestyle. I dunno…I’m bad at articulating these things. You’ll probably like it.

Also, Secretary, with James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal is a good movie to watch about D/s. It’s been coming on HBO from time to time…it’s also 10 bucks at Best Buy.

By: Jeff

Jeff — Wed, 29 Sep 2004 07:02:25 +0000

I’ll definitely put those books on my reading list. Warren mentions the work of Anne Rice as a good introduction, but now I have a starting point with her. Even though my girlfriend subscribes to the Freudian school of thought in terms relationships between men and women, I view a lot of aspects D/s in a non-sexual way. But this isn’t to say that not a lot can be learned from what is considered “erotic” literature, especially when it relates to such a sexually charged lifestyle.

By: number18

number18 — Tue, 28 Sep 2004 15:57:03 +0000

Ahh pardon my sentence fragments. I meant I had one for you to read. I love The Sleeping Beauty triology by A.N. Roquelaure (aka Anne Rice). I picked it up just sort of looking for an erotica book one day, and was unwittingly turned on to this lush world of BDSM. It’s intense, and I think an excellent read for someone new to these things. I want to say ‘just go pick it up,’ and hopefully you will love it like I do. It seems the bad reviews it gets on amazon.com are from people who have no idea about the depth in S&M and are really turned off by it, calling it depraved, sick, and all sorts of other unncessary adjectives.

Just go buy it~ Trust me.

By: Jeff

Jeff — Tue, 28 Sep 2004 14:31:31 +0000

A book to read? I’m new to this, so forgive me if my suggestion is considered rather basic, but I’d recommend reading The Loving Dominant by John Warren. The first few chapters gave me a good introductory perspective on D/s, although I was also left with a lot of unanswered questions in my head. http://www.enslavement.org.uk also has a lot of good articles and essays that just seem to make a lot of sense to me, and give me an idea of long-term planning/development/goals.

By: loo

loo — Sun, 26 Sep 2004 21:57:58 +0000

thank you for taking this big step out into this world. thank you for being so honest with yourself. thank you for being stronger than you give yourself credit for. thank you for understanding who i am.

i know that in more ways than one, i’m blessed to have you in my life, and be at your feet.