I know the hatred and envy of your hearts. You are not great enough to not know hatred and envy. So be great enough not to be ashamed of them!

—Of War and Warriors, Thus Spoke Zarathustra

Ah, back into this again. I wasn’t planning on writing this tonight, but something set me off.

I like how Nietzsche believes that two human “flaws”, which some view as sins no less, should be embraced instead of shunned. Most likely, he’s attacking Christianity, and it’s view of hatred and envy as sins (he goes on to attack other beliefs in sweeping subject dances). Personally, I think that he’s pointing out the fact that humans are, in fact, human, and prone to err. After all, who is good enough to not feel such base emotions, even if only once-in-a-while?

It’s made me realize that sometimes I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. I shouldn’t blame myself for feeling a certain way, or having a certain flaw. It doesn’t even matter if painful emotions don’t generate something beneficial, like self-improvement.

Of course, if my base assumption is wrong, then I’m reading too deeply into this. Such things are always a hazard of reading translated material, and all that really matters is whether or not it helps.

It’s taken me this long to realize that the best that one can do is try, not succeed. That doesn’t mean that I’m going to settle for a life without self-improvement, it just means that I should learn to forgive myself before I learn to forgive others.

Because the former has always been harder than the latter.

Ever have those love-hate relationship with blogs, where they seem so interesting in one post, then so completely stupid in the next? Sometimes I’ll go through the process of deleting one from my bookmarks then re-adding it later from memory.

A few days ago, I dropped off some pants to get hemmed. They weren’t ready when I went to pick them up, and this turned out to be a major inconvenience; there were some things I had to do at the mall and I wanted to get them all done at once. The tailor told me when they would supposedly be ready and I made my plans around that.

When I made the extra trip to pick up my pants, there were two Thai women, leaning over the counter, flirting with him. Being a Thai man, he flirted back. The women stood to the side when I approached the counter, and kept making comments and then asking me in return, “You’re looking good these days. He looks good, doesn’t he? And you have a good business going. It’s a good business, isn’t it?”. I was about to say something regarding the tardiness of the service, since I was thoroughly irate about the extra trip, but decided against it. Here he was, being hit on by two women. Who knows when he’d have the opportunity again.

Went camping again, most likely the last time for the year. I’ve discovered that I’m too much of a city slicker to keep up with the others; I miss showering too much. The campground was nice, but the paved roads and washing machines sort of took away from the entire outdoors experience. Of course, we also had comfort stations, lighters, pre-chopped firewood, and fresh water taps, so it’s not like we were hardcore camping anyway. It’s good to be able to get away every once in a while, to places with no computers or cell phone service, but once or twice a year is enough for me.

The woods were great. Trees stood taller than any I’ve ever seen, and the made the surrounding areas thick with vegetation. The entire campground was gigantic, with multiple beaches, quiet areas, rock climbing, and cliff diving.

And Aaron pretended to be a trucker. The story behind the hat: Trolley got a free Hurley hat with a purchase he made. Trolley hates trucker hats though cause he can’t pull them off, and was going to sell it on eBay. Aaron saw it one day when he was over, and tried it on (cause he always tries on the most ridiculous things as a joke). Somehow it works for him, although the hat must be worn high on the head and slightly tilted to the right.

There once was a kitten who enjoyed sleeping in a little wicker basket on the top shelf of my desk. I bought her a green pillow that had a removable case, and stuffed it in the wicker basket so she would be more comfortable. She was very happy in there, with her birds-eye view of the entire room, and would spend hours upon hours in the lofty enclosure.

Soon, however, she noticed that the basket was getting smaller. It got harder and harder for her to jump in without knocking other things over. Eventually, she stopped sleeping in there altogether, as she outgrew the basket and wouldn’t fit in its sheltering walls.

Eventually, I moved the pillow to my bed, without the wicker basket, and the cat, no longer a kitten, resumed her naps there. The pillow, on the other hand, remained the same size, and no longer supports the sheer girth of the once tiny feline. However, she continues to enjoy sleeping on it, and has no problem accomodating for space restrictions with an uncushioned limb or two.