Beth. Mysterions. Scratches, beats, drum rolls.

It’s funny. Sometimes I read con­fes­sions on group hug and some­one will be going on about how they have this prob­lem, but they can’t tell any­one because no one would under­stand. Almost every time, no mat­ter what it is, my first reac­tion is to roll my eyes and think to myself, “Trust me, you prob­a­bly know some­one who understands”.

And then I real­ize that this isn’t true, because it isn’t true for me. There are quite a few things that I feel like I can’t tell my friends. Not because I’d be afraid of los­ing them over it, but because none of them have had the same expe­ri­ences as me, thus ren­der­ing unable to help.

John is usu­ally the first per­son I’ll tell my prob­lems to because I’m most com­fort­able with him. I’ve known him for more than half my life, and he’s as fal­li­ble as me. I also have a lot more shit on him than he does on me (how do I keep John loyal…blackmail, hah). But gen­er­ally I don’t want to tell him about my prob­lems because he doesn’t think like me at all.

Pat is the per­son I’d most want to tell things to, sim­ply because he has too much good in his heart and knows me well enough that I couldn’t pos­si­bly say or do any­thing to make him angry. Yet he’s the last per­son I end up going to for help or advice, just because he’s so busy. Sometimes I’ll tell Aaron and Trolley, but I don’t linger on things too long for fear of bor­ing them.

I mean, what’s the point of telling some­one who doesn’t think the same way or hasn’t been in the same sit­u­a­tion? It’s not like they don’t care, they just actu­ally don’t under­stand, so what could they pos­si­bly do to help (aside from direct involve­ment if the option is there, but if the option is there it wouldn’t be a prob­lem). Sometimes, the most that a friend can do is lend an ear.

Sometimes it’s enough. Otherwise, there’s this.

My own, per­sonal group hug.