I see female singers wearing boxing shoes in their music videos. It turns out that Everlast boxing shoes are very popular here among the girls. I think they look terrible.

Out of the storm of life I have borne away only a few ideas — and not one feeling. For a long time now I have been living, not with my heart, but with my head. I weigh, analyze my own passions and actions with severe curiosity, but without sympathy.

—Pechorin, A Hero of Our Time

When I was younger, I decided that I wanted to cast all my emotion aside, because at the time I knew nothing but pain. I set this as my goal, and started to work towards a sterile, cerebral mindset. I wanted to feel nothing, and this idea followed me through to university.

At this time, I never believed that I was completely successful; I still felt too much. However, as my situation changed, as I met new people with good hearts and minds, I experienced what happiness was like. I was never satisfied though, never happy enough, and always wanted more but could never achieve it. Suddenly, it felt as if my cerebral goal was too successful, and I was stuck, I was numb.

I’ve gone from one extreme to the other, from wanting nothing to wanting everything. In both cases I was a failure, but it’s only now that I realize that success would have assuredly meant no turning back. I believe that when a certain extent is reached, one becomes ignorant to anything that could possibly change oneself. Now I understand the balance, the dichotomy that absolutely must exist in order to have a healthy mind.

And things are much better this way.

I had the chance to do some night time golfing at one of the more popular Hong Kong driving ranges. It’s great to be able to practice at night because of the cool weather and how beautiful the city is with all the lights on. I borrowed my uncle’s titanium shafts (which felt so great to swing with), and had the best hour of golf in my life. For some reason, even though I hadn’t been out on the course a single time this year, everything came together in my golf game and I was hitting more consistently than ever. The entire practice has let me know that I’m not completely hopeless now when it comes to golf, and that I might consider trading in my aluminum shafts for titanium ones.

My grandmother told me two stories I hadn’t heard until yesterday. I’m not sure how much truth there is in them, although it’s difficult to imagine my grandmother embellishing anything.

My father was supposed to meet my grandmother for lunch one school day when he was about 15. He never showed up, but called her instead, half an hour past the meeting time. It turns out that three guys had approached him on his way to see her, demanding that he give them his ring, his watch, and his necklace. When he refused, they dragged him to a garage to beat him. Having practiced Shaolin Kung Fu with a private master for years, he fought all three and won.

Around the age of 17, my father and his friends were out having a late night snack at a restaurant where people cook their own food on skewers. In the middle of the meal, a few triad members came to the table, and knowing that they were too young to smoke, asked for cigarettes as an excuse to cause trouble. When they couldn’t provide any, the triad members told everyone to give them their money and jewellery. Everyone complied, and put their belongings on the table. At the right opportunity, my father grabbed one of the gang members arms and held him in a prone position, with a skewer to his chest. My father told his friends to get their stuff from the table, and demanded that the gang members give his friends taxi fare home. When my grandmother found out, she sent my dad to study in Canada, worried that the gang members would take revenge.

I caught Jewel’s video for Intuition yesterday, and had to delete the song afterwards. When I first heard the song, in Darren’s car when we were baked, I thought it was cool that she was trying something away from her acoustic roots. It’s too bad she’s such a money slut now, because I could tell that her first album was actually inspired and tried to say something.