turn on: tight neck turtlenecks
turn off: loose neck turtlenecks

turn on: speaking more than one language, speech impediments
turn off: speaking English poorly

turn on: glasses
turn off: eye shadow

turn on: brow, tongue, labret, cheek, hood piercings
turn off: nipple, nail piercings

turn on: hands
turn off: feet

turn on: swearing
turn off: burping

turn on: Scottish accents
turn off: Chinese accents

turn on: nail polish
turn off: lipstick

turn on: retainers, braces
turn off: gummy smiles

turn on: chokers
turn off: spiked collars

turn on: floor touching skirts
turn off: capris

Dina bought me a platinum GBA SP! I can’t believe it; I actually gasped when I figured out what it was. It’s been a pretty rough day, so this was a really nice surprise. I can bring it with me on my trip to Hong Kong so I can play on the plane. Now I want to buy so many games, like the sequel to Paper Mario on N64, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga, Fire Emblem, Tony Hawk’s Underground, and Final Fantasy Tactics Advance. There are actually more I would buy if I won the lottery, but for now, I can download a few and upload them to my flash cartridge with the linker.

I catch myself swearing at the TV more and more lately.

I had to cancel the vet appointment today, and spoke on the phone with one of the nurses. Even though I apologized for cancelling at the last second, she took an extremely patronizing tone with me. She assumed that a possible emergency slot and UTI written down next to Patches name meant that he needed to seek immediate medical treatment. She had no idea how much money it costs me, how difficult it is for me to get a ride there, how the conditions of Patches behaviour have changed since making the appointment, how much I care for my cats, how much I’ve done to make sure they’re healthy and happy. When I canceled, she assumed that I was just another novelty pet owner who couldn’t be bothered to care for his pet after realizing how much work it actually is. She didn’t even know why I cancelled.

It’s too bad that the doctors are so amazing at this hospital, while the interns are such bitches. I actually had to mentally prepare for this visit yesterday, to deal with the people involved, and even with my mental wall I still feel so fucking angry and drained. This is why I hate people.

I didn’t mean to talk about this so soon, but after contemplating this subject for a while I feel as if I’ve done enough thinking to properly speak about it. I do feel like my mind is clear on this issue, that I’ve given myself enough time to understand things well from as many aspects as possible. This is something that I hadn’t really thought about in more than half a year, but more recent events have sort of spurred my mind on the subject again.

Hah. It’s almost humourous, how immature I seem back then to myself now, that it hasn’t even been an entire year and yet my mindset has changed completely in a totally different direction. I used to be so scared that I was indelibly affected by a past experience, that I could never change what I felt and thought. And yet I feel as if I see things much more clearly now. I feel less burdened, less biased, less negative.

This doesn’t even have anything to do with hope or with chance, things which I dwelt on so much before. I’ve been able to see past these matters, and freedom from such things is great. Odd, that an experience that may have damaged or discouraged me has been able to resolve all my worries.

And now, what has changed?

I’ve done what I thought I would never do again.