In the past, I’ve always appreciated any dismal emotions I was experiencing. Even though these melancholy feelings have always been comfortable and even inspiring to me, I’ve usually felt like I’d rather be in a complacent mood.

I realized that sometimes it’s best for emotions to be felt and experienced, no matter how bad they are. Sometimes it’s just better to let feelings run their course, to consume the fuel that makes one feel defeated. Of course, this is only possible when there is no more fuel being generated. When there is stagnancy in the situation and one is aloud to rest in one’s mind, things become much simpler. These morose thoughts and ideas need to be embraced and not forgotten, so that one can understand and learn, grow and be strong.

Eventually, one gets past what has happened, and is a better person for it.

I have never smelt so badly. Pat has given me the best workout in my life, playing me in table tennis. I’m sore from neck to toe and I feel as if I’ve been running all day. Even my ass is sore. How the fuck is my ass sore?

Pat and I are so evenly matched that after playing for two hours he won only by a few points. After the first twenty minutes sweat was pouring into my eyes. They started stinging as if they could taste the salty enthusiasm exuding from my skin.

I’ve never felt so exhausted but so exuberant at the same time. I’m determined to do this more.

I can feel myself getting hyper again. I’m still trying to figure out why. The last time I felt like this was a little over four years ago, but I was a different person at the time so all emotional influences had a different effect. Every song makes me want to sing aloud, every joke makes me want to die laughing. This is probably just the manifestation of a simple excess of emotions, overflowing in my mind. I doubt it will last long.

No wonder I’m insecure.

I’m sick. There’s been a virus going around, started by Mr. Wheaties, propagated by god-knows-what. Wheaties is over it now, and Nick and Trolley are just finishing up. I woke up yesterday with a very slightly sore throat, but this morning the irritation is much more distinguished. I don’t seem to be having any other symptoms though, such as a runny or stuffy nose, which are generally extremely common for me. I’m beginning to suspect I may just have a throat infection, but I won’t be able to tell anything until tomorrow. One thing is for sure though, with the rate that these symptoms are spreading, I’ll be sick for a long time.

The good thing, if it can really be considered a good thing, is that I’ll be able to down some Neo Citran, which tastes like yummy metallic lemonade, or god-awful what-the-fuck-did-you-do-to-these-cherries cherry juice. The best part is how well I sleep after Neo Citran makes me too drowsy to operate heavy machinery.