People in relationships can be divided into two categories; those who love the self and those who love the other. Every relationship is different, not just in the sense of a different pair of people, but also in the idea of the same person with a different girlfriend or boyfriend. Although someone may be of a certain category through one relationship, they may fall into the other category in another. Even crossing categories through the same relationship is possible, depending on the dynamic of a couple.

The lovers of the self care about the other person, but only insofaras their own vested interests are concerned. When the desire of this type of lover begins to outgrow what the relationship can offer, the bond weakens and often breaks. The main concern of this type is what they are getting out of the relationship.

The lovers of the other are lovers in the classical sense of the word. These are the people with an honest love, the ones who care most about whether or not the other person is happy. This type of lover is the one least willing to break a relationship, the one who is more willing to sacrifice or compromise.

Relationships are based on matchings of these two types. A relationship between two lovers of the self will last as long as there is no conflict involved. Once a disagreement is reached, neither party cares enough to make the relationship work. On the other hand, a relationship between two lovers of the other is the ideal match, and generally the longest lasting. Both people are committed and willing to work out any problems that may arise. Usually, the only break in the relationship may be from base conflicts (disagreement on issues which are too basic to work out or compromise about, such as adoption).

The most common type of match, however, is with one lover of the self and one lover of the other. At the end of such a relationship one is left unaffected while the other is broken-hearted, and the end of such a thing, in my experience, is inevitable. In cases like this, I’ve found myself on both sides of the coin.

And regretting nothing of either.

I bought the new Hawksley Workman album today. Jonathan gave me a mini-CD of the first single, Anger as Beauty, and I was hooked to the unrestrained expressiveness of his voice. I’m generally not a fan of this type of music, but something about it has struck a chord with me.

I caught Anything Else at the World Exchange today. I went by myself, since no one I knew was interested in seeing it, and I didn’t think it would be appropriate to see such a movie with anyone else anyway. Going to the movies alone generally makes me feel awkward. I usually adapt the sense of humour I share with John when I’m by myself, which is of the “ludicrous” variety. For some reason, exaggerately bad situations can always make us roll on the floor in laughter, such as LL Cool J’s walk through chest-high shark-infested water to find his parrot in Deep Blue Sea, or Tom Cruise’s blindfolded search for sustenance in a fridge filled with rotten food in Minority Report. The more fucked the characters seem in a scene, the funnier it is. Unfortunately, not many people share this sense of humour, and I’ll be the only one laughing in the theatre. My muffled voice sometimes pierces the silence around me as my embarrasment about the inablitiy to control my laughter grows. At least with John there, I don’t feel so awkward about laughing at such things, even if we’re the only ones laughing. Anything Else, a movie full of painfully bad situations, had me cachinnating uncontrollably in a theatre full of silent watchers.

I feel mostly recovered today after the gaming marathon Nick and I hosted over the weekend.It started Friday afternoon and ended on Monday morning, with a few sleep breaks and food/Family Guy/Mr. Show breaks in between. Trolley and Wheaties lugged their computers over, including a spare monitor for Aaron. Jacques brought his entire setup by cab, that’s how hardcore he is.

We were able to play same Quake 3 and Serious Sam 2, but the bulk of our time was spent on trying to complete Diablo 2 with new characters. We managed to get to the end of Act III, but the weekend ran out. At one point, we found ourselves surrounded at a vital waypoint, and started doing dragging runs to fight smaller groups of monsters.

All in all, the best LAN ever.

Sometimes I see the same movie twice with a large gap of time between viewings, and I understand the characters, thoughts, emotions, and actions very differently each time.

A few days ago, I came to the realization that I’ve been a different person in every relationship through my eight year dating period. Not all of me has changed, but there are a few aspects which I believe would be important in such a bond.

I’ve gained more maturity and more confidence. I’ve gained a fair amount of intelligence (though I still feel like I have infinitely more to learn). I’ve changed career goals, relationship goals, and happiness goals. I’m more outgoing, more tolerant, more secure, less pretentious (I hope), less arrogant, and less ignorant. I’ve changed my opinions on children, abortion, and religion. I’ve even changed my actions based on these shifting beliefs.

Although I view most of these changes as being good things, they may put strain on a relationship nonetheless. After all, change is change, and unless a relationship is strong and flexible enough, it cannot endure such stress. It’s a little scary to think that I may be bringing extra strain into a relationship, simply by being myself.

At one point in my inexperienced youth, after having changed a fair deal already, I believed that I wouldn’t change any more. Now I realize how stupidly oblivious a comment that was, and am of the belief that I’ll never stop changing.

The most important thing to keep in mind through all of this is whether the change is for the better, and as Tom has helped me realize, relationships (friendships or otherwise) should form around this idea.

Whether or not a relationship will work out in the end is not based on one person, but the foundation and dynamic of two people.

After six months, Joe remembered my request for a redhead poster. It’s a Joico product placement for color endurance styling, featuring a blue-eyed model with a rather frumpy, bangy hairstyle. Even though I’ve since lost the zeal in my six-year redhead propensity, I still love this poster. I offered to give Joe something for it, but he was too nice to accept.