There’s a sort of magic to using phone cards. Every card purchased is a new key, and every brand tried is a different voice and card-stiffness. With all the hidden fees and secret costs, it always makes me wonder what is in store as I scratch away the metallic blind. Some stores only sell the “phone receipt” now, a piece of paper printed on the date of purchase, complete with numbers and key, because people selling the phone cards to stores are being robbed of their card-filled briefcases. The receipt works the same way as a card, but lacks the tangible feel of a solid card. Calling someone should always be this fun.

Ever listen to The Postal Service…on weed?