I had actually forgotten about John planning a trip up here sometime at the end of the summer. I was reminded when he called me yesterday and told me that he was showing up tonight avec son fille. What a great surprise to have.

I’m going out for some dim sum with Pat today, at a Chinatown restaurant I haven’t been to yet. I haven’t had dim sum in quite a while, so I’m definitely looking forward to picking out my favourite foods. While I’m down there I’ll be able to pick up as much Rickshaw black tea as I can afford, hopefully they’ll have at least three packages in stock so I can pick up one for Aaron too. Pat also tells me that there’s a new bubble tea parlour that opened up in the area that we might hit after, and I’ll be looking forward to going so that I can take Trolley, Wheaties, Aaron, and Nick next time we have a car.

Jealousy is not a familiar emotion to me. I’m never jealous of what someone has, simply because I dislike comparing others with myself in terms of what one may earn/deserve. It’s only in my relationships which any sort of envious emotions surface, and even then, such an onerous emotion happens rarely to me.

Historically speaking, I’m generally over-confident, and such a mindset creates very worry-free relationships. It’s when I don’t have this confidence that my mind starts to wonder. In a way, this is my insecurity getting the better of me. It feels so odd to have to fight off this emotion, to have to constantly remind myself and keep my feelings in check. It’s almost an extreme test of how far I’ve come in my goal to be a cerebral person. When I try to calm myself down I can feel my mind evening out, like a melting candle, leveling out from heat.

So far, my jealousy has been easier to contain than I would have believed. Maybe I’m losing my insecurities better than I know, and I’ve come further as a person than I realized. Because of my inexperience with jealousy, I do salute any jealousy I experience as a mark of true love.

Perhaps some jealousy is a good thing.

I did end up going to Ryan’s barbecue, expecting to only know about four people, but actually knowing about half the people there. Aaron and I bought a twelve of Vex, which doesn’t taste like much but at 7% and only $10 for a six it was good enough to get us going. I was able to try some Bitburger which had a nice clean taste. Re-experiencing some Smithwicks, however, left my mouth with a terrible bitter taste. The barbecue was a great time, although after flame cooking my sausages, I’m afraid I won’t be able to go back to my Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machine. After cooking my steak on a campfire grill last camping trip, I’ve been unable to look at broiling or electric-grilling my steaks in the same way.

By 9:00 pm I was at the Southvale apartments, feeling completely drained. Wheaties made us a pot of coffee while the other kept drinking. Aaron, Wheaties, Trolley, and I fired up a game of Ghettopoly. I got my piece of choice, the pimp, and was owning the southwest corner properties like a…fat kid on cake. Eventually, the crack houses and projects on my best properties won the game, since the vicissitude of unlucky dice rolls gave me the cash money for some maneuverability. A great time.

At one point, Aaron and I shared a Cohiba on the balcony. I was surprised at how light and smooth the cigar tasted, although it had a very tight pull, which made smoking it a bit of a chore.

My god. The hands on preview for Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles includes some jaw-dropping screen shots. Unfortunately, the next installment of the FF series seems to rely heavily on multiplayer, as well as Game Boy Advance connectivity, and since I’m the only one I know with both, I might have a difficult time playing this game. I’ve always been a bigger fan of single player games than multiplayer games (online multiplayer aside) simply because I had no friends to play with. The problem (or feature, I might say) with RPGs is that they’re generally not pick-up-and-play games because of the involving story lines and deep gameplay, and it’s difficult to find someone who’s willing to just come into the middle of the story.

As for Soul Calibur 2 coming out in three days, I’m hoping it’ll snap me back into my old hardcore gaming lifestyle, which I seem to have lost over the summer. Once again, I don’t have anyone to play with/against, so I’ll probably be practicing in the quest mode.

I need chicken soup. I need a fresh baguette. I need softened sliced carrots with the slight bitter taste of ginseng. I need fall off the bone chicken, baked in broth, white from cooking.

I need to laugh. I need to sing. I need to shout.

I need to lose myself.

I need.