I realized that my writing is very dry.
Monthly Archives: April 2003
Talking To Cats
I had the pleasure of taking care of Nala while Trolley and Wheaties were home for the long weekend. She greeted me with loud protestations, angry that her caretaker had left her alone in the house for two days so far. Alas, it was only me who had arrived, a stranger she hadn’t gotten comfortable with yet. She followed me around at first, and watched as I filled up her food and water dishes. After a while she realized that I was the only one coming. “Where is my slave?”, she demanded, and ran off to sleep under the kitchen table.
I tried to talk to her, to let her know that her company would be back in two more days. I asked if she was alright, if she was bored or sleepy or energetic.
It felt…a little odd…to be so verbose with a cat. I consider myself to be a sane person. At the same time, I realize that cats cannot answer back. A strange little paradox.
I find myself in the same situation around children. When a kid asks me a question to which the answer is beyond his comprehension, I don’t know what to say. I become rather embarrassed that I’ve been placed in such a situation. Do I tell this child the truth, or do I give a saccharine answer? Do I attempt to shed some consciousness on a child’s life, or do I let him/her remain in a blissful childhood ignorance?
Any decision can be thought of in a bad way. I never know what to say, so I generally don’t answer back.
I still talk to Dolores though.
For there can be no judgement there.
Lamplust, Formatting, Basic
Studying has not been going well. I find it difficult to get motivated, both exams being a week away. I’d much rather be trying to improve my win ratio or working on my book, than learning about orthogonal view mathematics or mesothermal vein deposits. I might just write off the rest of the afternoon as relaxation.
Using my tax return as justification, I bought a set of Candela’s a few days ago. After seeing a movie in which a restaurant displays a beautiful set of mood lighting, I was inspired to give some more personality to my rather drably room. My Christmas lights do add a bit of mood, but they are too bright to feel comfortable. I also bought a blue single, in case one of them burns out, and so that I can have a bit of colour at my disposal. I don’t like the fact that they run on NiCads though, making them have the troublesome characteristic of memory. I’d like to just leave it on until I go to bed, but I’m afraid I’d have to let them “burn out”, although I’m sure that lithium ion batteries would have doubled the price as well as the weight, and halved the lifespan of each Candela.
My computer desperately needs a formatting.
I caught Basic this afternoon with Aaron and Chris. It wasn’t very good; the plot had way too many twists to it. I spent the entire time trying to figure out what the hell was going on and admiring Connie Nielson’s distinguished and weathered face (oh my).
Getting Dark, AFI, Etc.
It’s getting dark here, but the light hasn’t completely left the day yet. The sky waxes grey with the setting of the sun, and a gentle rain is making the pavement shine with the yellow glow of the street lamps. The smell consumes me, and I’m back walking the streets on an unrecollected gloomy day.
I finally finished off my honours project, so I can rest a bit easier now. The one report is worth two courses itself. It ended up being around 22 pages, which isn’t too bad. The only thing that remains is my geo essay, and I only have about a half page left to write. I went to lunch with Aaron and Wheaties to celebrate a completed course at the Elephant and Castle. A great waitress served us, and offered a variation on the Strongbow I was having, which was the addition of some lime cordial, or some black currant juice. We all got to try both with the Strongbow, and it was decided that the lime was the better of the two. The remaining black currant juice went into the beer, and Aaron told me that it was tasty.
200 more wins to an archmage icon.
I’ve been listening to the latest AFI album lately, and even though I didn’t much care for it at first, I’m completely addicted now. There’s something about the harmonies in the vocals that make their sound so unique. I’m not quite used to Davey Havok’s voice though, as he sounds like a child to me. Quite unconventional Currently, my favorite song is This Celluloid Dream.
A trip to the Dominican Republic may be working out for the first weekend of May. Since it’s the beginning of the off-season, the cost of the entire trip, drinks and meals included along with residence at a four-star hotel, will be around $900 for a week. Apparently this includes scuba diving, horseback riding, jet skiing, and a beach-side view. Currently, only Aaron, Cristina and I are completely committed to going, but we need an even number of people so we’re trying to find one more person.
Artfag is currently a redhead. Ummmm…yah.
Jonathan tells me that the full-time job seems promising, but he’s not making any guarantees. It would mainly consist of going around the city to various commercial customers and troubleshooting computer problems. The pay will start at around $15 which is not too bad, but not great for a graduate. He says that I’ll also need a car to be able to get to the locations that need service, something that I’ll consider more if I’m actually able to get the job. He tells me that it’s a good foot-in-the-door for web programming positions in the future. I am very grateful, and I’m not getting hopes up.
Quixotic
People who know me know that I generally tend not to get my hopes up. I never see the point. If I get my hopes up and things work out in my favour, then I would have expected such an outcome, and I become unappreciative. If things don’t work out, then I feel even worse than had nothing happened. On the other hand, if I don’t get my hopes up, I’ll feel great when I get my way, or I’ll feel fine when nothing works out.
Yet I can’t help but get my hopes up for what the future may hold. Lately, things have been going well in such a way that I feel comforted. Jonathan has made a great attempt at trying to get me a computer related job with a decent salary. I applied to a beautiful apartment with Nick which, I was told, I should have no trouble obtaining occupancy. I will be graduating soon, and free to live my life with a freedom only matched from the summer days of my childhood.
But most bright to me seems to be the future with my friends. I’ve met a great bunch of people, of which I immensely enjoy hanging out with. They have offered to help me move. They enjoy the same things I do. They are people I can confide in. They have gotten excited about my tenancy with Nick. Who else do I know is interested in my happiness? What other friends that I’ve had are so keen in spending time with me?
My friends make the future seem warm and bearable. Even when I admit to myself the way the future may work out, the fact that I may not get this job and industry connection, the fact that my rental application may be denied, I can’t imagine anything going wrong with these wonderful people. Sometimes I wish that I didn’t feel this way, that I could keep my mind in check. But I can’t.
And I don’t care.