I went out to celebrate St. Patty’s day with Aaron, Wheaties, Trolley, and Nick. I had such a great time, that I can’t even begin to explain. There were so many entertaining parts to the night that I wouldn’t be able to recall half of them. We did some drinking at Aaron’s place before going out, and the pub we eventually went to nearby was dead. The service was terrible, the atmosphere actually worked in a negative way, with a terrible DJ and drunken bums, and the beer wasn’t even a rich shade of green, more of a pale watery colour. A good time was still had though, one of the best times of my life.

At one point, Trolley was chasing Aaron and I down a hill, with Nick in an abandoned shopping cart being pushed in front of him.

I came upon a sort of epiphany though, not only through the events of the night, but through the conversations we had. Everything made me realize how simple my life has currently become, how I live for nothing but my friends, and a bit of hope.

If I was to die tomorrow, I would have no regrets, about anything in my life at all. I haven’t worked very hard to get where I am now, which includes a very comfortable lifestyle. I have been very lucky. I’ve been able to relax, and take things easy, and still go through high school and university without being held back for failing courses. I enjoy what I’m doing, I think I’ll enjoy where the present is taking me. But if my life were to end, then so be it.

I wonder if anyone would find this morbid if they found out. It seems like I’ve accepted my death already, although there’s always the possibility of a death scare creating an urgent sense of alacrity in me. I can’t really see that happening though. Sometimes suicide doesn’t sound that bad. There’s just no reason to live or die, so I accept what I’m given, and make the best of it.

Perhaps this is the answer, as well as the meaning.

I wasn’t able to accomplish any form of work today, and even though I feel completely exhausted, I have nothing to show for it. I did manage to get my graphics proposal approved, however, which will be to implement a 3D Game of Life in OpenGL.

I went to Iain’s place yesterday, since Jeff had to cancel on me due to sickness, and we watched Rushmore. The walk home was great; the temperature was beautifully brisk, and the fading sunset lingered in the darkened sky.

It was Pat’s birthday today, but since I knew beforehand that I wouldn’t be able to see him, I gave him a bottle of Huge Boss In Motion. I tried some of the other colognes, but none of them seemed to fit him. Most of the brand names are very strong, so I find they don’t match the subtle presence of most Asian individuals.

I got my RatpadGS today, and it works amazingly well compared to my old mouse pad. I had no idea how much I had worn down the surface of the old one.

I went to my first NHL hockey game last week, and even though I’m a Leafs fan, I still enjoyed rooting for the home team, watching them win 3–2 in overtime. I’m surprised at how much smaller the rink looks compared to what it appears to be on TV. I had some great seats, and they only cost me $20.

I found out that I can still count quarter notes to the end of phrases perfectly in 4 based time.

I’ve been watching a lot of Chinese movies lately. I always find the scenery to be subtly poignant, from the density of the houses, to the confinement of the living arrangements, to the homliness of the shops. It makes me miss Hong Kong. It makes me miss seeing my grandparents. It makes me miss the quaint lifestyle, the diversity of food, the entire culture.

If I end up going to Hong Kong this year, I hope to be able to tell my grandmother how strong a person I see her to be, but I detest my limited knowledge of the Chinese language. I wish that I could express to her in English how much I look up to her. If I had a chance with English, I would feel like I could do the feeling justice. I hope she doesn’t hurt my feelings. I hope she doesn’t die before I see her next. I wonder who would cry.

I still remember living with Kenny, having a great time at his place, playing with all sorts of interesting gadgets. His parents were always good people, one of the few sets of relatives I care about.

The feeling is almost tangeable. I can close my eyes, and see myself there again, a lost, emotionless, ignorant boy. I miss the street vendors. I miss the smell of my grandmothers house. I miss the bliss.

I realize that my feelings are probably a result of my absolute contentment whenever I was in Hong Kong. I’ve had some of the best times of my life there, and I remember nothing but happiness. It seems like I’ve been tainted with maturity, and I’m trying to regain a lost part of my childhood, the carefree being that is so characteristic of young people.

Tainted.

I like that.

My cryptography midterm was easier than expected. I was the first to leave, and I was able to answer every question. Whether I was right or not is a different story.

I have only four projects left to do. A cryptography presentation on message authentication, my honours project on Rubik’s cube time complexity, an essay on gold price fluctuations, and a final OpenGL presentation program. They’re all due one after the other, so I’m trying to take one at a time, even though the going is slow.

I went out to support a few friends of Wheaties, in a band called Pensive State yesterday. I didn’t really feel like going out, but I figured that it would be a good break from being stuck in my apartment all day. It was much warmer than expected.

CAt told me about a version of Autumn Leaves by Eva Cassidy, and I think that it’s my favourite version so far. Apparently, the song has been completely overdone for over half a century, and I’ve only just heard of it.

Jeff’s coming over tonight to catch up a bit.

I’ve been seeing a lot of use of Moveable Type. I’m not very good with Perl yet, but the code will probably be much cleaner than what mine is now, and more modular. On every blog I’ve seen, the author keeps one large page of the current months entries. I much prefer to have one entry at a time, so that there can be more depth to my writing without flooding the page with text. I would also want multiple queries from the database, so that I can display my recommended and analysis sections at the same time. I’m just not sure if Moveable Type can pull all this off, or whether my host even supports the right script permissions.

Wheaties, Aaron, and Trolley are all coming over on Tuesday for a sort of guys night. We’ll be watching Swingers, and maybe some Basketball.

With dual sisal scratching posts, 3 carpeted lounging surfaces with climbing holes, hanging sisal toy and sturdy, wide base? Sweeeeeeeeeeeeet.