When I think of the Chinese culture, a very specific image comes into my head, of a father dominated family, parents who don’t know their children, and closed-minded individuals.

I think my upbringing has exposed me to such a one-sided aspect of Chinese life. Almost every Chinese family I’ve met is like this. It wouldn’t be so bad if I saw the kids as growing up and surpassing such limited individualism. And yet most of the Chinese people my age just seem to be falling into the same childish mindset, a product of parental (mis)guidance, in my humble opinion.

It almost makes me sick.

When I read about Chinese history, I’m fascinated about how wisdom is held in such reverence, and how scholars are so respected. The same virtues seem to hold for Chinese people today, except that they don’t truly understand why academics are important, or why one should learn an instrument.

I wish I didn’t have such a limited view of a culture with such great history. I wish I could be exposed to an amazing Chinese family. I wish something could change my view.

All of this has created such a distaste of Asian looking girls in me. It’s as if my mind makes an unfair association.

I’m stuck.