This week has been such an emotional roller coaster. I can’t describe the odd moods I’ve been in, the twists and turns my mind has been going in. I feel lost.

I have three mid-terms tomorrow, one of which I feel confident about. I tried desperately to study during the three days I had off, and only one of them (today) had any progress whatsoever. I think it’s just my study environment, combined with my current emotional fluctuations. I tried to study in the SITE building today, watched the sun go from east to west, and felt my melatonin levels drop. I feel burned out already. I definitely need this reading week.

Speaking of which, I most likely won’t be going home for the week. I’ll probably try to hang out with Trolley or Thom. I don’t have time to change the dates on my train tickets, or even get a new ISIC. I’m not even sure if I’m elligible, since I’m a part-time student when not considering my honours project as a course.

My progress through Moby Dick has been non-existent lately.

I’ll have to catch the Married with Children reunion special on Sunday. I always found the show to be amusing when I was a kid, though I never laughed out loud as I would if watching a funny show nowadays, like Family Guy. I think I was just mystified by the openness with which the sexuality was dealt with, something that I never grew up around. I’m sure the special will remind me of the summers I spent at home long ago, something I’d rather remember for my innocence than my ignorance.

I’m downloading Full Metal Jacket. I still can’t get over how brilliant the entire film was, possibly the best display of genius on film I’ve seen so far. I still haven’t decided whether I should buy it though, since it’s not quite a movie I can relate to, which is generally the criteria I use to build my collection.

The weather here has been unforgiving.

I think I’ve been struck with an even greater need for antipathy than before, but this is no pleasurable need. My mind burns with painful ideas, and it knots my stomach. I feel awkward thinking about it every time.

I need antipathy to feel normal again. To know that I am worth something. Why must I find out so much about something that pains me so much? Perhaps I simply think about the situation too much, and I’ve become hyper-sensitive to it. Yes, that’s probably it.

Hope is the mindkiller.

I forgot to plug in my freezer after disconnecting it to free up a spot on the power socket on Saturday, so basically all my food has gone bad. I still have some breakfast and lunch food in the refrigerator, but that’s about it. I won’t be able to do much grocery shopping this week due to all the shit I have to get done, and the most convenient store for me to get to is closed until the fall, so I’m pretty much fucked, food-wise, for a few days.

I can’t stand what people believe are Chinese accents. Every time I hear one from a North American source, the accent can’t be further from realism. Every time a Chinese person is on the Simpson’s, or a Crank Yankers prank call from a Chinese guy, or even the fucking Chinese people speak in C&C: Generals, I get pissed off. Why don’t they just get an actual Chinese person to do the accent? The accents are not even close to what a nasty Chinese person sounds like. It’s like they have to tone down the accent so that people can recognize it (let alone understand what the person is saying), and so that it can be accepted by the general public.

Speaking of C&C: Generals, I was able to get my hands on a copy of it today, a few days before it’s due out in Canada. It looks amazing, but possibly a little too cluttered for actual gameplay purposes. I’m not sure if I’ll buy it yet. I’ll probably wait and see if my friends are interested in purchasing it for online play, and if I get addicted enough to warrant support of EA Games, although I’m sure they have enough money as a publisher of mainstream games already.

I got a compliment on my black nail polish today. I was pleased, I guess, but I suppose that it’s rare that one would make a bad comment on something like that; I think that most people, if not finding it atractive, would simply remain silent.

Somehow I got an 80% on my cryptography assignment. I imagine that the class average was around there. The questions were so difficult that the TA had to be extremely generous with the marks. Pat ended up getting 88%, which I feel is unfair, since he spent so much more time on his assignment than I did. It seems to be such a plight of university, that professors don’t realize that students’ capabilities are much lower than theirs.

Dolly singed off about six more whiskers today when she passed by a candle on the way to the windowsill.