At one point in my life, I believed I was like a jester in my pursuit of making other people happy. I didn’t really care how I was doing, the knowledge that my friends were well was enough to get me through the day. Nowadays, I think I’ve become more selfish. There seems to be a diffuse feeling of non-satisfaction.

Have I become more cynical?

I expect nothing from others. I still believe that my happiness can only be a result of my own actions. Yet it still fills me with a feeling of elation to know that I have been able to help someone else. Perhaps I’m hoping that the favour may be returned to me someday. Realistic would be a better word.

However, the thought that the people I care about are happy is still enough to satiate. I’ll take that as a good thing.

Forget about me.