I took a ride with John when we were finished watching Pumpkin last week. In the last scene of the movie, she walks away from the camera, and gives a look back with confusion on her face. I couldn’t figure out the look, whether it was a silent chiding of the people who had scorned her throughout the movie, or whether she suddenly fully realized the extent to which her concupiscence had taken a hold of her. I tried to discuss it with John, but he dismissed the subject, telling me that I thought too much.

I wondered if it was true. Darren and I both perspicaciously noted that an icon like K-OS always seems to be trying too hard to be intelligent. It always seems like he’s trying to find a meaning in everything, or speak about something profound, almost as if it was his gimmick in being a musician.

The whole subject has made me very self-conscious about my thought pattern. Do I come off as an elitist asshole to other people, or as something that I have come to fear so greatly? I realized that I generally don’t care (or shouldn’t care, at least, as I’m only human). To be misunderstood is always a part of life, and misunderstanding is something that I’m guilty of as well when meeting new people. What matters to me is being understood by someone I respect, as seldom as that is. I’m able to tolerate what so many do so often, something that John has taught me well.

More to come of arbitration.