An attractive woman got on my elevator yesterday, which surprised me, considering the number of students on my floor, let alone my building. I’m not sure what she was doing there, wearing her nice gray suit and checking her mail. I realize that I’m becoming more and more attracted to much older women, while becoming less and less attracted to girls my age, or even girls 10 years within my age. They all seem to be so…childish. It’s something that’s almost repulsive to me.

Childishness seems to be so superficial to me. And yet it’s something that’s so hard to define. I suppose that it’s childish thinking that really gets to me. Even if one acts as a child, one can still be defined as an adult through a mature mindset. After all, a man who creates research models with Lego should be seen as an adult with ideas, not someone with a childish hobby.

It’s these older women who seem to have a wisdom that I admire. Perhaps it’s their mindset, which I feel like I can relate to lately. Perhaps I just don’t really know enough about them to find their faults and their weaknesses.

Or perhaps I’m just growing up.

Four and a half hours of class, with six hours of work. I’m writing this at work right now actually, because no one is really here, and I can never seem to find time at home to do anything productive anymore.

I fed my cat canned food yesterday and she loved it. I think I’ve settled with the name Dolores. I keep having to buy her new mousies cause she keeps wearing them out with so much play.

I bought Yoshi’s Island for my GBA yesterday, and it’s pretty damn good. I miss having a nice 2D platformer to play around in, and to collect the coins in. I realize that I should probably have saved myself the money and downloaded the ROM and uploaded it to my flash card, but it’s much more convenient this way, and I have the luxury of being able to play whenever I want, without interferring with other ROMs on the card.

I think I’ve decided not to go home during Thanksgiving. John’s going to be busy with his work (on a long week-end), and I’ll probably be busy with mid-terms and projects through the end of October. Unless I hook up with Darren over the week-end, there’s not much else to do down there. This way I’ll be able to take care of Dolores without having to get somebody else to feed her and clean up after her.

I’m still extremely tired. Trying to keep my kitten fit and disciplined is quite a process. She’s a great pet though. She was stood in front of my monitor, watching me play Starcraft yesterday. When she got bored, she fell asleep in front of me on my table. She’ll come into my bed when I’m sleeping and curl up next to me, hoping to catch some warmth. I’m pleased.

I’ve been skipping most of my classes, since I’m so damn tired all the time, and I feel pretty guilty about it. I suppose that I won’t feel guilty as long as I remember to keep everything in perspective.

Someone asked me if I thought that I was a smart person. I told her, “I am neither”, and I thought that it was a perfect self-contradictory statement of fallacy, and equivocality.

My current situation has been resolved, not that there was really anything that needed to be resolved about it. Things came up that needed resolution, and by a stroke of luck, everything worked out the way I wanted them to. I feel devious, inspired by John’s ability to walk out of any situation unscathed. I surprised myself actually. My calm, my control; things that I was never really able to control before. But I played the situation beautifully, devilishly, and got away with it.

As beautiful as Mandelbrots’ Set.