I was finally able to fin­ish the page, and another one for my cousin. I think he needs one more than I do. It feels like a never end­ing stream of projects, always this or that, that I’m work­ing on. I sent in my appli­ca­tion for Big Brothers today. Just another project to add to the list. If only I was as good at fin­ish­ing projects as I was good at start­ing them. It always seems like I’m con­stantly busy, yet always bored. I never have time for this or that, yet some­times I just sit at desk, star­ing blankly at my flick­er­ing screen, won­der­ing what I should do. Perhaps it’s just a sign that I’m get­ting older. Another day, another dol­lar, another irre­place­able chunk of infi­nitely pass­ing life­time. I think I just need some more time to relax, and just relax. One time, I was in a cafe­te­ria, when I saw a girl, sit­ting by her­self at a table. She was del­i­cately tak­ing tiny bites of a cherry tomato, and was just sit­ting there, look­ing out the win­dow. Not read­ing, not talk­ing with a friend, not doing any­thing, while she ate. She seemed to be able to just relax, and calm her­self with all the com­mo­tion going on around her. I was extremely attracted to her con­fi­dence, and wished that I could be like her, that I could have the abil­ity to just sit at a table by myself and just eat. Perhaps it will just take some more time.

Apparently, I’m never too busy for me.